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I hadn’t always come at the drop of a hat with a partner, but with Alec, it took everything not to just orgasm at the first touch. The way he was in bed had me forever teetering on the edge of excitement.
When my body calmed down, he used his fist in my hair to guide my mouth over his cock. ‘How do you want it? Are you in the mood to worship my dick or to be fucked by it?’
‘Fucked,’ I said without hesitation. I loved when we slowed down and sex turned into something closer to lovemaking, but I couldn’t get enough when he took over and used me to satisfy himself.
‘You got it, Princess.’
My fingers dug into his thighs as he filled my mouth, alternating between stuffing me to bursting with cock and fucking my mouth with long strokes. I closed my eyes and focussed on the tight pull of his fingers in my hair and the way he grunted and moaned when my lips and tongue hit him just right.
‘Your mouth is my fucking happy place, Esther,’ he groaned, tilting his hips as his strokes grew more erratic. My moans travelled the length of his cock as I looked up at him, my lips spread tightly around his shaft. ‘Look at you, such a fucking delight.’
His eyes closed as he ground against my mouth, slipping deeper into my throat and making me cough up great strings of saliva. ‘Such a good girl, aren’t you? Always happy to please.’
He pulled out of my mouth and got in the tub behind me, thrusting into me with one hard stroke that took my breath away.
‘Fuck, Alec!’
He grunted against my ear as he kissed and bit at my neck, my nipples grazing the edge of the tub with each hard stroke. His hand groped between my legs, angling me so that the jet hit right against my clit as I cried out.
‘You... are... a... fucking... dream,’ he gasped against my ear as his thrusts quickened, sending the sensations inside me into overdrive. Between the aching thrusts of his dick and the never-ceasing jet at my clit, I was tumbling quickly toward the edge again.
His hands slipped to my hips as he crushed me against his cock, his wrangled cry loud in the afternoon air. It was all I needed to send me crashing into a full-body orgasm, crushed between him, the jet and the wall as I joined him in ecstasy.
We stayed there, locked together and being blasted by bubbles until we caught our breaths, eventually settling back in the water with me in his lap, his arms tucked tight around my waist and him still lost inside of me.
‘Marry me, Esther?’ His voice was a whisper against my ear, and I closed my eyes as an ache gripped my heart.
‘You know I can’t.’
‘You want to though, don’t you?’
‘I... I can’t go down that path. I can’t let myself. All it will bring is heartbreak.’
‘I’ll be broken-hearted either way,’ he said, his fingers grazing over my hips. ‘If we marry, they’ll have no choice.’
He was right. I wanted to be with him. Maybe not marriage. It was too soon for that, but I wanted to see what could come from this. But I had no choice. Maeve would be next.
‘One bullet and he’d make me a widow. Either that or he’d be hurting Maeve, and I just can’t leave her there.’
‘We can take her with us, find a new life together.’
I turned my head so that I could meet his eyes, trailing a hand over his jaw. ‘We can’t run forever. Harold will never let it go. You can find someone else. Have a family. You can be happy.’
‘I don’t want someone else.’ He kissed me softly before leaning his forehead against mine and closing his eyes. ‘I want you. I want to be the man you come home to, who looks after you and listens to you talk about your day. I want to be the man who kisses away your tears and makes you laugh. I want it all, Esther.
My heart was in ribbons, broken shards littering my chest. Tears gathered at the edge of my eyes as I kissed him back, both of us knowing that this thing between us had to end. Hell, we never should have started it.
‘I want it too,’ I whispered. ‘But we know I can’t.’
I was going to kill Harold with my own fucking hands if I had to.
THIRTY-TWO
ALEC
Esther’s lashes lay heavy against her cheek as I watched her sleeping, her cheek pressed tightly against my chest. Her body was like a little radiator - too hot for comfortable sleeping, but neither did I want to move away from her.
The entire night had been far more sombre than I’d meant for it to be. After she refused my somewhat harried proposal, the reality of what was to come weighed heavily on us both. Food tasted like ash on my tongue despite it being cooked by excellent chefs, and the sunset had dulled to grey by the melancholy that stuck to me like tar. The moment the question had fallen from my lips, I had set the dream in stone. It was fast and foolish, but I wanted Esther to be mine.
