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Our relationship should be strictly physical, which is why I told him I wouldn’t be spending the night. I also should have turned down dinner, but I couldn’t bring myself to do that. Maybe I’m setting myself up for failure by spending time with him that isn’t just sex, but it’s too late to change my mind now. I mean, obviously, I could, but I don’t want to. We’ll have to see how things play out and go from there.
“You look constipated,” Rio states, flopping on the couch beside me.
Shit, I guess I’ve been staring at my phone, lost in thought since I sent the last text to Ian.
“Just thinking,” I reply, plastering on a fake smile.
“Abooout?” He drags out the word, singing it, and I chuckle.
“A guy I’m messing around with,” I supply, not sure how much I should spill right now.
Rio’s brows pull together, and he stares at me like I’m from a foreign planet. “Since when do you spare a second thought about the guys you mess around with?”
I roll my eyes and scoff, acting annoyed, but the corners of my lips turn up. He isn’t wrong with his assessment. All the guys I’ve been with haven’t crossed my mind outside of our hookups, but Ian is different, and our dynamic is different from anything I’ve participated in in the past.
“Are you actually into this person for once?” Rio asks, and I lift my shoulder.
“Maybe,” I murmur. “But I’m not supposed to be.” Rio seems confused by my answer, so I continue, “Messing around with everyone on campus was getting old, so I asked someone to be friends with benefits. It sounded great in my head. We would fuck each other’s brains out without the messiness of feelings.” I shiver and push my lips out, scrunching up my nose at the end as if the word ‘feelings’ alone makes me nauseous, which it kind of does. I’ve never caught them, but I already don’t like them.
Understanding appears on Rio’s face, and he places his hand on my shoulder. “You caught some messy feelings, didn’t you?”
I sigh and pout, something I’ve never done before Ian. Rio’s brows shoot up a little, and his eyes widen, clearly caught off guard by it.
“Kind of, but I’m sure I’ll have them back under control eventually.”
“Why don’t you ask him to try dating instead if you already like him?” Rio suggests, schooling his expression.
“I don’t date,” I reply firmly.
“I know you haven’t in the past, but if this guy is different, maybe a real relationship wouldn’t be such a bad thing.”
“He’s a great guy, but eventually, he’ll leave me,” I whisper. “Everyone always does.”
Rio squeezes my shoulder, and even though his touch is comforting, it’s not one I crave like Ian’s.
“Sounds like you have some stuff to work out,” Rio says. “Sometimes our pasts fuck with our heads and cause us to think things that aren’t necessarily true. Maybe you should take a minute to contemplate your life since you started at GSU and figure out if the statement you just made is really true anymore. People might have abandoned you in the past, but I’m not going anywhere, and you have other friends who are on the same page.”
His words hit deep in my chest, making it almost hard to breathe. He isn’t right, is he?
I don’t have time to dive deep into that train of thought because there is a knock at the door, and Rio rushes to let whoever it is in.
“You must be Monster,” Rio greets my friend, and I clammer off the couch to welcome him.
“That’s me,” Monster replies with a toothy grin.
“I’m Rio. Our other roommate, Bronny, should be home soon.”
“Don’t tell me the party is already starting without me,” Sasha calls out, appearing behind Monster.
“Of course not,” I assure him with a smirk. “Who would do something crazy like that?”
Monster and Rio laugh, but Sasha simply nods like it really would be the most insane thing ever.
“Monster, this is Sasha,” Rio introduces. “He’s a pain in the ass, but he’s fun, I guess.”
Sasha gasps, placing his hand on his chest. “Rude.” He shoots daggers at Rio, then turns his attention to Monster. “Rio’s just jealous because I’m super amazing, and he’s boring.”
Monster chuckles. “I can tell already that you are the farthest thing from boring that there is.”
