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She still has the ring on her finger. My ring. Does it mean anything, or am I just a pathetic man who is willing to let himself fantasize about the impossible?
I want to take her in my arms, hold her tight, fall to my knees, and plead for her forgiveness for every bit of pain I have ever caused her.
How is it possible to regret everything, yet regret nothing?
Despite the cloudy thoughts in my head, I know that the most honorable thing I can do is to walk away.
“Antonio, please wait!” she calls out.
I hear the tap of her footsteps following behind me as I walk into the house.
“If you could just give me a few minutes,” she pleads, desperately following me as I walk through the empty halls of the house into my study.
I stop suddenly, and without warning, I turn to face her. She almost bumps into me.
“I told you,” I say to her. “Once you step into this house, you become my prisoner again.”
Our faces are so close that she steps back. Her whole being trembles. She is afraid of me.
Why wouldn’t she be? I am the monster who has kept her captive like an animal. I am a man whom she detests.
“You know about Giovanni and me already, don’t you?”
I smile to hide the bitterness boiling up inside me.
“So you’ve come to apologize?”
“No, I have come to be by your side, Antonio.”
I stare at the darkness in her eyes and let out a laugh. “Alyssa, in a few minutes, this house will be invaded by men who kill with no conscience. I am in no state to have a damsel in distress in my care.”
I see the tears well up in her eyes.
“You bastard!” she spits at me.
I grin. “Now that’s the Alyssa that I know. Donatello will lead you out back. You’ll have to call another Uber to drive you home. I advise you to hurry. Things are going to get nasty fast.”
“I was going to kill you,” she calls out as I walk toward my study.
There is a stab in my heart. It’s so painful that I stop in my tracks.
“So many nights I stayed awake imagining how it would feel to sink a knife into your chest and watch you bleed out.”
Why are there tears in her voice? I dare not look back. If she wanted to kill me here and now, I deserved it. “The thought of killing you was the only reason I held on for so long, Antonio. You took everything from me.”
“So why didn’t you do it?” I ask.
“What?”
“So many nights I lay in your arms unsuspectingly. You had the perfect chance every time I gave you more freedom.”
She has to leave. I must make her leave.
“You were just too much of a coward to go through with it, weren’t you?”
I face her, and our eyes meet. Tears fall down her face, and she wipes her eyes. “You’re right. I let you fuck me into submission,” she scoffs through her tears.
“I am not here for you to tell me how much of an idiot I am, Antonio. I know that so well. There are no words you throw at me that I haven’t thrown at myself on the drive here. So shut up and listen to me.” She inhales. “One of your brothers—just one—works for Giovanni.”
