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Chapter Sixteen
V
My sleep was plagued by vivid dreams in which X ignored me, telling me he didn’t know who I was and that I needed to get lost, even though I ran down the street after him, begging him to remember. Everyone on the street turned to look at me, so I was surrounded by people standing there staring. I’d never liked extra attention, and this kind of focus made me want to curl up into a ball and disappear. Combined with the look in X’s eyes, the one where he thought I was a crazy person and wanted me to go away, made me want to vanish off the face of the earth.
I woke, knowing it was a dream, but unable to push the feeling of misery from my heart. I didn’t like this version of myself. I was desperate to take back control, but I didn’t know how to without getting myself killed. I realized I’d told X who I was with, but he hadn’t had the chance to tell me his location. I needed to try to get to a telephone again, but after almost being caught, the idea filled me with dread. I was tired. Tired of everything. Of fighting all the time, and now of not quite feeling myself. I couldn’t explain it, but I knew I wasn’t on my game.
I’d slept away most of the day, which wasn’t surprising since I’d been awake half the previous night. Even so, I could normally manage on just a few hours’ sleep and be fine the next day, but recent events had taken it out of me.
I remembered the fight I’d had with Nickie, and my stomach flipped with unease. Would she go to Tony and tell him I hadn’t been in my room during the night? It broke my heart to feel like my own sister wouldn’t protect me against someone she knew had hurt me. I’d made so many excuses for her because of things she’d gone through—the rape, being forced to watch her mother die at my hands—but at what point did I think enough was enough and decide she simply hated me? I guessed a part of me had always hoped she would come around, but she betrayed me over and over again.
Would I lose my sister, not because some gangster had killed her or taken her away from me, but because she simply could never bring herself to love me?
A knock on the door came, and a moment later it opened, my visitor not waiting for an answer.
Stefano’s face appeared in the gap. “Boss wants you downstairs.”
I narrowed my eyes at him. “Do you do anything other than run Tony’s messages?”
He scowled back. “Yeah, ’course I do, but if Tony tells me to do something, I’m gonna do it.”
“I think you need to grow some balls.”
“Yeah, you try going against him and see how well that works out for you. I don’t see you standing up to him either.”
Not yet, but just you wait.
I didn’t give voice to my words. I remembered how it felt to wake up to find Tony’s hands around my throat and his cold eyes staring down at me. My throat was still sore, and if I pulled my collar down, I’d be able to see the bruises in finger marks around my neck. No one touched me like that and got away with it. I didn’t know how I would take my revenge yet, but he, along with my father, was at the top of my list.
I was still in the shirt and sweat pants I’d worn last night. I hauled myself out of bed and pushed a hand through my hair. Stefano remained in the doorway, his eyebrows lifted as though questioning my lack of speed.
“Okay, okay. I’m coming.”
I followed him downstairs into the office, trying to ignore the butterflies swirling around my stomach. The reason behind my being summoned could be down to a number of things—someone had spotted me last night, or Nicole had told him, or else there was more information about my court appearance.
I wanted to pin my hopes on X and the man who was with him, but I wasn’t stupid. X had no memory, and, like me, wasn’t himself. I had no idea who Harvey Baglione was, or what his connections were, but I doubted they were anything to rival Tony’s. I’d never relied on anyone to save me before, and I certainly couldn’t now. I needed to save myself. Control my own future. Stay focused. Right now that focus needed to be on my father’s trial and seeing him sent down, though I felt torn by my desire to be with X. Didn’t the trial need to take first place? Could I do that if I was with X again? Part of me knew I wouldn’t have the sort of protection Tony offered me, and I was more likely to end up dead if I somehow managed to escape and made my way to X, but I didn’t exactly feel safe in Tony’s company either.
Stefano knocked on Tony’s door and pushed it open for me. I walked in to find Tony behind his desk, sitting back in the big chair behind it. Stefano followed us both in and closed the door behind us.
“You wanted me,” I said.
Tony eyed me suspiciously. “Where have you been all day, Verity? It’s evening already, and you’re only just making an appearance. Are you sick?”
I pressed my lips together and shook my head, trying not to appear guilty. “No, I’m fine. I was just tired. I guess being half strangled will do that to a girl.” I couldn’t help myself. I shot him daggers, and waited for the reply.
“I’d never taken you for such a delicate flower,” he said, his head tilting to one side as he regarded me. “Maybe next time you’ll think before you decide to go off on your own.”
I scowled at him, wishing I could tell him to fuck off. If I could just walk out of that door, and still be able to testify against my father and keep Nickie safe, then I would. I hated that Tony had this control over me.
“I only went for a walk,” I replied. “I thought you were offering me protection. I hadn’t realized I was a fucking prisoner.”
“Now, now, Verity. Shouldn’t have language like that coming from a young lady’s mouth.”
“Are we done?” I said. “I’m kind of hungry, and I didn’t even get to use the bathroom before your little bitch over there dragged me down.” I cocked my eyebrows toward Stefano, who glared back at me in return.
I was starving, but also with that strange underlying nausea as well. I must have slept so deeply, it had affected how I felt, plus not having eaten since the day before didn’t help. No wonder I was hungry. I was relieved that Tony didn’t seem to know anything about my middle of the night excursion into his office. If he did know, he was doing a good job of hiding it. I was disappointed that he wasn’t calling me in because of a new appointment at court, though. I wanted things to move forward with the court case. Waiting around in Tony’s house wasn’t getting me anywhere.
The office door suddenly slammed open, and Paulie burst into the room. “Sorry, boss, but we’ve got visitors.”
