Page 91 of If You Want Me


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Postie and Malone bumble over, meowing their excitement. I crouch to pet them while they wind themselves around my legs. “How are my favorite furry boys? I’m so excited to watch the game with you next week.”

They abandon me and head for the kitchen, conditioned to believe I’m here for love and treats. When I stand, Hollis is right in front of me. I don’t know what to do with my hands, or any part of me. I’m vibrating with nerves, and my vagina is all achy again.

I exhale some of my anxiety and remind myself that we share a very real mutual attraction. Hollis would not have gone to the trouble of setting up this date if he wasn’t interested in seeing where this could go.

I run my hand down his tie, wrapping the soft fabric around my hand. “You look great.”

His hand settles on my hip, gently pulling me closer. “So do you.”

I lift my chin, and he drops his head until our lips meet. The familiar zing courses through me at the gentle contact, and I sigh into the soft, unhurried kiss. It’s a dance of tongues, a promise of what’s coming.

Unfortunately, he ends it before it can escalate.

He laces our fingers and kisses my knuckles. “Dinner’s almost ready.”

I follow him to the kitchen, where two glasses of wine sit on the counter.

He passes me one. “To first dates.”

My stomach flip-flops as we clink. “To first dates.”

We sip our wine, and Hollis presses a chaste kiss to my lips.

I set my glass on the counter, worried he’ll see the tremor in my hands. I’m also ridiculously parched thanks to the nerves, and liable to chug it. I move toward the cupboards, but he holds up a hand.

“Whatever you need, let me get it for you.”

“Just some water, please.”

He fills a glass and when he passes it to me, I wrap both hands around it to hide how unsteady I am. I try to sip it but end up downing the entire thing.

Hollis takes the glass and inspects my trembling hand. His concerned gaze meets mine. “What’s wrong?”

For the first time, I truly feel the age gap. He has so much more dating experience. My classiest date has been dinner out at Earl’s, a local pub chain. I wore jeans and a nice shirt.

Hollis knows how to seduce. And take care of a woman’s needs. The front door fingerbang is proof of that. My sexual repertoire is limited to university boys. What if the dry fuck was a fluke? What if all the sex in the movie made me more appealing? What if this was all just my own fantasies and built-up teen angst?

“Princess?” He cups my cheek in his hand. “Talk to me.”

I’m on the edge of emotion. I better not cry. “I’m so nervous.”

“About what?” He leans back against the counter, posture open. “Is this too much for you?”

“No. I want this.” So badly. I’ve wanted this for so damn long, and now that I have it, I’m terrified. I wrap his tie around my fist. The fabric slips through my fingers over and over. “I just… I don’t know what I expected, but I guess…I thought we would order in dinner and then we’d—” I gesture to his bedroom. That was a whole lot of truth I didn’t mean to tell.

His thumb sweeps along the edge of my jaw, soothing and igniting. “I don’t have any expectations about what happens after dinner, Aurora. I just want time with you. That’s all.”

“Okay,” I whisper.

He parts his legs, wraps his arms around my waist, and pulls me between them. “What aren’t you telling me?”

“It’s kind of annoying that you can read me this easily.” But also, so, so nice.

He runs his palms up my back and down my arms, moving my hands so they link behind his neck. “You used to share everything with me. It goes both ways, though, doesn’t it? Tell me what else has you worried.”

I sigh and look up at the ceiling. Am I really going to admit this? “You have a lot more experience in certain areas than I do.”

“That goes without saying, Aurora. Be more specific.”

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