Page 62 of If You Want Me


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“How come this is the first I’ve heard of this?” Hemi asks.

We worked together every day for three months. We shared a lot of stories, and I learned a lot about the guys on the team, including how extensive her hate-on for Dallas is. But I did not share this. I would never share this.

“I don’t know. I’m in drunk-blab mode, I guess.” I shrug. “I pretended to be bad at algebra once because I found out Hollis was good at it.”

“You pretended to be bad at algebra?” Rix makes it sound like I’ve committed a heinous crime.

“Yeah. I intentionally failed a test in grade nine and everything. I had this entire plan.” At the time I thought it was genius.

“We need to hear about this plan,” Hemi encourages.

Am I really going to spill the beans on this? “He’d been over one night while I was working on homework and I’d asked my dad for help. Math wasn’t his jam, but apparently it was Hollis’s. In my head I’d come up with this master plan that he would be my tutor and I’d get to sit with him for uninterrupted hours while he explained the Pythagorean theorem. And he did help me. But only once.”

During that one session I got to stare at his profile and imagine what it would be like if he kissed me. And now I have firsthand knowledge. I would give my left nipple to feel his lips on mine again. To hear him groan, to have his tongue sweeping my mouth.

“Why only once?” Tally asks.

“My dad hired an actual tutor who was not cute or fun.”

“That backfired in the worst way!” Rix chuckles.

“Totally. I brought my marks up in a hurry, but it took a month of twice a week sessions before my dad let me off the hook.” And I never did something that stupid again. Until BDF—Batdick Fiasco, anyway.

“Does Hollis know this?” Hemi asks.

“That I faked being bad at algebra? Of course not.”

“What about your teen crush? Does he know about that?” Dred asks.

“Oh, God, no.” It’s bad enough he knows I have the hots for him now. He doesn’t need to know about my teen crush, or that it never really went away. I mostly admired him from a safe distance. But he was always nice to me when I was a teen. Kind. Gentle. Soft, when he could be the opposite with everyone else. I was always Princess. But like everything else, that nickname has shifted lately.

“I wonder what he’d say. I bet he’d be flattered. You’re so beautiful, and fun, and smart,” Tally says.

“Thanks, Talls. You’re stunning and sweet and brilliant, and you should be told that often. Also, I would prefer to never find out how he feels about my teen crush.”

“How who feels about your teen crush?” Tristan asks.

“That’s not information you need,” Rix says.

“Bea had a crush on me when she was fourteen, but I was too much of an idiot to see it, thank fuck, because I would have screwed that up hard back then.” He inclines his head. “You’re a goddamn saint, and I love you.”

Rix smiles. “I love you, too.”

“I need you to sleep over at my place tonight, so I can show you how much I love you with…” His gaze jumps to Tally for a moment before returning to Rix. “All of my body parts.”

“Someone hide the cucumbers.” Tally slaps a hand over her mouth and sinks down in her seat, eyes comically wide.

Shilpa looks confused and leans over to whisper something to Hemi, who shakes her head and mutters, “Later.”

Tristan’s mouth opens and closes. His cheeks flush. It’s the first time I’ve ever seen him blush.

I pat his arm. “We already know we’re going to hell; at least the trip will be fun.”

He walks away and I swear the tips of his ears are bright red.

“Oops, sorry,” Tally whispers.

Rix waves off the apology. “He’ll survive his embarrassment.”

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