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Sports highlights come on, along with news about my accident on the ice.
“I can change this,” Aurora says.
“No, it’s okay. I’m used to the fodder.”
But I don’t expect to see Scarlet splashed across the screen. I hadn’t realized she was at the game again. Her horror-struck expression comes first, and her back with my number and name embroidered on the jersey appear next, followed by a slideshow of images from more than seven years ago, back when we were dating. She was twenty-two, and I was twenty-six.
Reality is a sharp blade. Aurora is younger than Scarlet was when she ended things and broke my fucking heart. I’d been so sure we’d work out. The life I’d been planning with her was suddenly gone, and with it went my ability to trust someone. I never wanted to feel that vulnerable again. I’d be an idiot to invite that kind of pain back into my life, especially when it’s already turned upside down. Aurora is young, and I might seem like a good idea now, but eventually she’ll find someone better. Someone’s already changed their mind about me once and the scars from that have impacted me in ways I can’t even begin to unpack. Aurora has her whole life ahead of her and I don’t need to put either of us through that kind of hell.
“You know what, I’m really bagged. I need to lie down again. You don’t need to stay or clean this up. I’ll take care of it later.” I turn off the TV and grab my crutches.
“Are you sure? I can put the dishes in the dishwasher.” She wrings her hands.
“No. You should go. You’ve got assignments to work on. Thanks for stopping by and for the hash. I appreciate it.” I can’t look at her as I turn toward my bedroom.
“Did I do something wrong, Hollis?” she asks.
“No, Princess. You’re not the problem. It’s just better if you go.” I can’t keep doing this to her. To myself. I hate that I keep hurting her, but I can’t put myself through that again. I’m an infatuation. That’s all. If I stop indulging it, she’ll move on. I’m sure of it.
CHAPTER 17
HAMMER
“Ineed another martini.” I tip my glass back and drain the last of it. I’m making bad choices tonight, like drinking too much. The past few days have been a lot of wallowing and dissecting what’s happened between me and Hollis.
I’ve deduced that we’re hot for each other, but Hollis is apparently a masochist with poor impulse control since he keeps doing things he says he shouldn’t. These boundaries he enforces and then steamrolls are pissing me off.
“I also need another drink.” Rix peeks over the back of the booth, presumably looking for her boyfriend.
“What kind of drink do you think I’d like?” Tally muses.
Rix looks back at Tally with a somber expression. “Don’t rush to grow up, Talls. It’s okay to enjoy your life in the phase you’re in.”
“Plus, drinking isn’t that cool and the hangovers are stupid.” Dred pats her on the shoulder.
“I always add club soda to my drinks to avoid the hangovers,” Shilpa says.
“Water is the elixir of life.” Hemi nods.
I spot Hollis by the bar with Dallas. “I’ll get us another round.”
“Aren’t you the sweetest?” Rix gives me a knowing look.
“Everyone want another one?” I slide out of the booth.
Dred taps her bottle. “I will take another beer.”
“I’m good.” Shilpa shakes the ice around in her half-full glass.
“I’m also good,” Hemi replies.
“One of these days you will have more than one drink,” I tell her.
“Your birthday is coming up, isn’t it, Hemi?” Tally asks.
Hemi gives her a look. “How did you know that?”
“Dallas mentioned it last week.”
