Page 148 of If You Want Me


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His fingers brush the back of my hand, and he inclines his head toward the dance floor. “Go have fun with your friends. I’ll be here when you’re ready to talk.”

With a nod, I join Hemi, Dred, and Rix on the main dance floor. Tristan is standing guard against a pole fifteen feet away, watching Rix. She grabs my hand and pulls me into their circle. “What’s going on?”

I shrug and take a hefty gulp of my margarita. “He wants to talk when I’m ready.”

“Are you going to hear him out?” Dred asks.

“I should.” It comes out sounding like a question.

“What do you want?” Rix asks.

I want to be chosen by him. To be put first. For him to own his words and prove he means them.

Rix takes my free hand in hers. “Talking doesn’t mean you have to make a decision right away.”

“I know. I’m just scared.” But worrying about things I can’t control won’t help.

As I dance with the girls, I’m acutely aware of Hollis’s eyes on me. And he doesn’t look away when I meet his gaze from across the room. He pulls his phone out.

A few seconds later, mine buzzes with a new message.

Hollis

Will you dance with me?

I bite back a smile and nod. That’s something I can manage.

He moves through the crowd, eyes never leaving mine. When he reaches me, his hand settles on my waist, and he drops his mouth to my ear. Like he’s perfectly comfortable touching me in public. Like I’m his. Like he’s mine. His fingers drift down my other arm and slide under my palm. He lifts it and presses his lips to my knuckles. “I’ve wanted to do this for so long.”

It’s what I wanted. What I still want. But fear makes it almost impossible to move.

He doesn’t pull away, doesn’t look around to see who might be watching. Instead, he pulls me closer. “Is this okay, Princess?”

“It’s okay.” I close my eyes as the endearment hits me right in the chest. I’ve missed hearing him call me that.

I move closer, until our bodies are flush, waiting for him to back off or tell me it’s a bad idea. He doesn’t. All this time spent fighting our connection, and now here we are, broken and afraid and still so drawn to each other.

He kisses the tip of each finger. “I miss you.”

“I’m right here.” But there’s an ocean of hurt between us.

“Then why do you feel so far away?”

Our chemistry crackles, but there’s still everything else we need to figure out. Wanting him is one thing. Moving forward is another.

He drops his head, his warm breath on my neck, lips at my ear. “It was torture having to watch you out here on the dance floor and never be able to touch you.” The hand on my hip shifts to my low back, keeping me close. “I’ll never make the same mistake again if you give me the chance, Aurora.”

It’s all the right words. But I need more. He dips his head, as if to kiss me, but I press my thumb against the center of his lips. His eyes meet mine, and my knees weaken at the emotions in them. Lust and longing are always there, but it’s the deeper emotion—the one I haven’t dared to address—that makes me wish we could go back and do this over, but better, without the deception and the hurt. But he was still pages behind me. Maybe it’s me who’s fallen behind this time. All my fears are holding me hostage.

It would be so easy to let him take me home and fall back into bed with him, to connect us in the way that feels so right. But then we’re back where we started. “My heart is broken, Hollis.”

I need him to prove he won’t walk away again, that he sees me for me, and he’ll do what it takes. Because I’m worth the risk. Only then can I do the same. If we’re both hiding from our fears, this will never work.

He kisses the back of my hand. “Can we go somewhere and talk? If you’re ready?”

If I want all these things, I have to give him the opportunity. “I’m ready.”

Hollis waits while I hug the girls and say good night. “I should not sleep with him tonight, right?” I ask Rix.

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