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Tristan runs his hand through his hair and shakes his head. “I thought he knew better.”
“What do you mean?”
“He should have manned the fuck up and really fought for you. I screwed that up before, too, though. So there’s hope yet,” Tristan offers, somewhat helpfully.
But Tristan’s words press a wound he doesn’t realize has never fully healed.
A knock on the door makes my stomach flip-flop. Everyone looks at me.
Tristan breaks rank first. “If it’s Roman, I’m not answering it.”
He might not want to give me space, but I can’t see him knocking on my door already.
Tristan puts his eye to the peephole, and a moment later, he flips the lock and throws the door open. “Dude.”
“I know.” Hollis stands on the threshold, his bow tie half undone, his hair a riotous mess. He looks worried and sad and broken, like me.
“Well, your face is still in one piece, so you’re ahead of me and Flip there,” Tristan says.
No one cracks a smile.
I’m not ready for whatever is coming. I’m terrified.
“Aurora, can we talk?” Hollis asks.
An ominous weight settles in my chest as four sets of eyes shift to me.
I nod, unsure if my voice will crack or not.
“We’ll be at Tristan’s. Text if you need anything.” Rix bends and kisses the top of my head. “Seriously, just text. We’ve got you.”
Essie, who’s been mostly a silent observer, hugs me. “Stay strong. We’re here when you need us.”
They file out, and Hollis closes the door, flipping the safety latch before he crosses over to the couch. He leaves space between us, and he doesn’t make a move to touch me. The lack of affection cracks my fragile heart.
“Are you okay?” His eyes close. “That’s a stupid question. Of course you’re not okay. How are you and Roman?”
“He’s upset and blaming himself for being a bad father. I told him we both needed time to process.”
He runs his hands up and down his legs. “So he’s upset with you?”
“I understand his anger in a way I couldn’t before, but I’m an adult who can make my own choices. Even if some of them could have and should have been done differently.” My stomach churns, and my mouth is dry.
I wish Hollis would take my hand. I want him to wrap me in his arms and tell me we’ll figure this all out. That we’ll get through this.
He rubs his bottom lip, expression pained. “I should have been honest with him from the beginning. As soon as I realized I had these feelings, I should have gone to him.”
“But that isn’t what happened, so where do we go from here?” I ask.
He sighs, eyes on his hands, which are clasped in his lap. “We’re both in such transitional places in our lives, Aurora. You’re so young, and you have so much growing to do.”
The fissure in my heart deepens. I’m losing him. This is a breakup speech. He let me go home with my dad so he could take the time to prepare this. To end this. He’s not choosing me. Words like burden, too much, too hard, take up too much space in my heart and my head. I don’t trust my voice, so all I do is nod.
“The way I feel about you. I can’t—” He looks so sad, like he knows exactly what this will do to me. “Maybe in a couple of years when you’ve had time to settle into a career…” He pushes to his feet and paces the room. “Maybe that’s what we need.”
I can barely breathe around the pain in my chest. We have years of friendship behind us. We care about each other, and he’s not even willing to try to make this work? If he doesn’t think I’m worth the effort, then who will? Maybe he’s right, though. He knows how hard relationships are. Maybe I’m not ready for this. He would know better. I feel so foolish and empty.
I fight not to fall apart in front of him. “Why did we do all this then, Hollis? What was the point?”
