AllFreeNovel
Share Us
But this is so different. So, so different. The very thing I was afraid of has happened. Almost a decade of friendship is at risk, and so is the health of the team—not to mention the damage I’ve done to my relationship with my dad. I’ve tried to be so perfect for him, to make everything easier—to not be a burden for him. Now I just ruined everything.
“Are you okay to drive?” I ask when we reach the car.
“I had one drink,” Dad grinds out between clenched teeth.
“You’re really angry, though.” I wish I could keep my voice from cracking, or the tears from falling, but I’m a mess. “And you punched a wall. You should probably have your hand looked at.” If he broke anything, I’ll never forgive myself. What if he can’t play the rest of the season because of me? This is all my fault.
“I’m fine, and my hand is fine. Get in the car, please, Peggy.”
I don’t argue. It’s not like I’m in any condition to get behind the wheel.
I slide into the passenger seat, wishing I’d handled tonight differently. It’s like my shame bucket is overflowing and drowning me in the process. If I’d been able to keep it together, this wouldn’t have happened.
The ride home is silent. I don’t want to set my dad off while he’s driving. All he’s ever done is love me unconditionally. He sacrificed so much for so long, and this is how I repay him? By fucking his best friend. I’m a terrible daughter.
He parks the car when we arrive but doesn’t make a move to get out. “I need you to be honest with me, Peggy. How long has this really been going on?”
“Since January,” I admit.
“What about before that? Did Hollis ever do or say anything to make you uncomfortable?”
“What? No.” But I did plenty of stuff that made Hollis uncomfortable. My dad would be so disappointed in me if he knew.
“Honey, it’s okay to be honest. You don’t have to lie to protect him.” His expression is pained, fearful even.
“Dad, that’s not—whatever you’re thinking…” I shake my head. It wasn’t Hollis I wanted to protect. It was me, and maybe my dad, too. From the anger, from the hurt, from this. “It’s Hollis, Dad. He’s your best friend.”
“I don’t even know who he is anymore. He went behind my back and put his hands on you.” His jaw clenches.
I twist in my seat, stomach in knots as I prepare to tell the truth. Afraid of the damage it will do. “You have it backwards, Dad. He tried to maintain boundaries, but I kept pushing.”
“He knows better!”
I jolt at his volume. I unbuckle my seat belt and step out of the car, needing space. He does the same. “I understand that you’re upset, but I am an adult.”
“He’s more than twelve years older than you! You spent months sneaking around behind my back!” The hurt on his face is bad enough, but the disappointment is more than I know how to handle.
“Twelve years isn’t an unreasonable gap.” And while it’s a piece of this shit puzzle, it isn’t the biggest issue, and I know it.
“You’re still in university!” He grips the back of his neck. “That’s not even the point! Why lie about it?”
“Because what if it didn’t work out? Plus, I knew you wouldn’t be okay with it, and you confirmed it when you said you would murder him! How was I going to tell you after that? I didn’t want it to mess with the end of your season or my exams!” I head for the elevator, and my dad follows.
“But it took you months to even bring it up! Hollis should have come to me first. Before anything happened.”
“Would it have changed your reaction? Would you have said it was okay if he had?” I press my fingers to my temples.
“You didn’t give me a chance to be okay with it, did you? Where did I go wrong? Since when don’t you trust me enough to tell me the truth? And how clueless am I that this was happening right under my nose and I didn’t even know?” He runs a hand through his hair. “What else have you lied about?”
I drop my head, unable to look him in the eye. I don’t want to tell him about the pink bedroom or anything else from over the years. That I didn’t love living in the off-campus apartments as much as I said I did, because he wanted me to have the full university experience he never had. I don’t want to tell him that for the first two years after I moved in with him that I kept a bag packed in my closet with all my favorite things in case he decided I was too much to deal with. But keeping these secrets has been so hard on my heart and it’s not fair to him. Or me. Lying to him is what got us here in the first place and my shame bucket is pouring over. Before I have a chance to speak, he lobs another question at me.
“What do you think will happen with you and Hollis, Peggy? What exactly is your plan?”
I shrink in on myself, feeling untethered. Like my whole world is breaking apart and I’m about to slide into one of the crevices. “We were going to date like normal people do.” Go out together. Be a couple. Tell our friends. Hope they understand. Hope my dad will eventually understand.
“You have faced none of the challenges that come with dating a professional hockey player. He will be gone half the year, Aurora. What kind of life will you have when your partner is never there?” Dad points out. “And Hollis couldn’t even stand up for what he wants when it matters. Neither of you could.”
“You lost it on us! You’re not even giving us a chance,” I argue.
