Page 112 of If You Want Me


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I glance at Rix, who gives me an encouraging nod. These are my best friends. If I can’t tell them, who can I tell? “You all have to swear on the health of your lady parts that what I’m about to tell you stays here with us.”

Rix already knows. Mostly because my bedroom smelled like latex and vagina and there were an unreasonable number of used condoms in my garbage. Also, Tristan talked to Rix after he caught Hollis shirtless in our apartment. She assured me he won’t say anything. He doesn’t want to be present when my dad loses his mind.

“Is everything okay?” Hemi’s unease is evident in the slant of her brow.

“Yeah. No. I just need you all to promise it doesn’t leave this space.”

They all promise.

I swallow my nerves. “It’s about Hollis.”

The team is on a two-game away series, due back tomorrow. Prior to them leaving, Hollis and I had sex every day and even fit in a sleepover. Sex with him is a heart, mind, and full-body experience, and I’m totally addicted to the high. My vagina and the rest of me misses him. We’ve been texting nonstop, and those kitty cams are being used for a lot more than monitoring the kitties.

“Oh my God, are you pregnant with his baby?” Hemi asks.

“What? No! What the fuck? The last thing I would do is repeat that piece of history. My dad would lose his mind if I made him a grandpa at forty.”

“You’re older than he was, but I understand.” Hemi crosses one leg over the other. “Proceed.”

“I think he’s in love with you,” Shilpa announces.

Rix nods in agreement.

“Uh, I don’t know about that.” He is definitely in deep like and lust with me. I’m for sure a hundred percent in love with him, though. Thinking about him gives me butterflies. He also sent me flowers after our first night together. They’re in my bedroom. It’s an extravagant bouquet. Yesterday he sent me chocolates.

“He looks at you the same way Ash looks at me,” Shilpa adds.

That’s news to me—and a bit worrying that other people have noticed this, even though Ash and Shilpa are couple goals. He looks at Shilpa like she hung the moon and stars for him. “Right, okay.”

Rix gives me an I-told-you-so look.

“You’re finally a thing, aren’t you?” Hemi asks. I hear the trepidation in her voice.

“Are you secretly dating?” Tally’s eyes are wide.

“Yes, sort of. Just until exams are over, though. Then we plan to date openly.” I wring my hands, then sit on them.

“That’s what? A few weeks from now? Why keep it a secret at all?” Dred asks.

“I have final projects and exams, and the gala, and Hollis got cleared to practice with the team again.” We celebrated that with the team at the Watering Hole and then later, just the two of us. “I want a few things off my plate before we tell my dad.” I bite the inside of my cheek, glancing around the room.

Rix has already expressed her concern with this plan. Shilpa makes a face, but Tally nods in understanding. Dred purses her lips, and Hemi sighs.

“It’s just a few weeks,” I assure them.

“Aside from breaking his no dating players rule, is this because Roman won’t be okay with his best friend dating his daughter?” Hemi lays it on the table, as is her way.

“He’s a little overprotective,” I say defensively. I’m terrified of his reaction. The more I think about it, the worse my anxiety gets.

“But won’t he be less okay when he finds out you’ve been hiding it from him?” Dred asks.

“This.” Rix crosses her arms.

“I don’t want the stress of him losing his mind when I have exams. I’ll have a perfect record if I make the dean’s list this semester, which will only help my resume for the assistant position.” They sound like excuses, even to me. But I’m half a percentage point from losing my place. My dad is so freaking proud that I’ve made it every semester. It would feel like letting him down. And me and Hollis will be enough of a blow.

“The dean’s list is a nice bonus. But you’ve already proven you’re more than capable of handling the assistant position,” Hemi says. “Maybe officially dating before you get the position would be better? Shilps, cover your ears.”

Shilpa looks at Hemi as she speaks. “I’m not saying that could be a work around, but I’m also not saying that dating him before you have the job would be infinitely better when it comes to policy and paperwork. Because this is not legal advice and I never said any of this, okay?”

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