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It seemed so innocent. Round. Blue. Happy.
Peaceful.
At least that was what Faith said when she gave it to me two days ago. She’d had trouble sleeping after some intense argument with Armando, and Zane had given her a few to help her get some rest.
They’d take the edge off, he’d told her.
After I’d come out of the valium induced sleep coma I’d been in since the mail incident, shit hit the fan. Once coherent, Julian told me the whole story.
I’d become so hysterical, Everson shot up me with a vial of the shit, and I didn’t even know it. It kept me out of it for two days. Since security had high tech gadgets on some kind of Julian frequency I wasn’t privy to, they’d contacted him, and he’d flown all night to be with me. It would’ve been romantic if the situation hadn’t been so macabre.
When I had my faculties back, he told me the other reason for his quick return. He’d gotten his own special delivery—one that had caused the infamous onstage debacle. An identical teddy bear thrown at him during a concert the previous night.
We’d be stupid to think they weren’t related. Obviously, my father hadn’t been in two places at once. He either had insane frequent flyer miles, or someone helped him. Either way, the situation had escalated to a danger level neither of us were prepared to handle.
Desperate to ensure our safety, Julian amped up security, and after much arguing back and forth with Kristina, went back on tour. With two concerts left in this particular leg, the only way to appease the suits at Circa Records was to finish out his commitment. Afterward, he could take off the allotted time to get our shit together.
The boardroom at Julian’s record company didn’t give two shits if my father had held a knife to me and filleted me within an inch of my life. Their bottom line and the almighty dollar spoke, and they listened. Julian had signed in blood. My blood didn’t matter.
He didn’t need to know that my father used to choke my mother with her own scarves. The night she died, he’d choked her for the last time before we drove away.
Before Julian left, Iris’s colic hit. Her constant screams, coupled with his guilt over leaving, left him on edge. I couldn’t tell him about the scarf too. Besides, he’d doubled security. Why stress him more with something he couldn’t change or do anything about?
I rolled the pill in my hand. I was so tired. Iris hadn’t slept in over forty-eight hours, which meant neither had I. Her pain was my pain.
And I was in fucking pain.
The gods had smiled on me. After us both crying, exhaustion set in, and her little body had cried itself out. I glanced toward the silent nursery and rolled the pill again.
A full night’s sleep sounded like a foreign concept to me. I hadn’t had one in so long I wouldn’t know how to act when I awoke from one.
Faith promised me they weren’t like the valium injections Everson gave me. She promised they were like any other over the counter sleep meds. I pressed my ear against Iris’s door again.
Quiet.
Popping the pill, I downed it with an entire glass of water. I needed sleep, and I’d be damned if I’d lose a golden opportunity like this. An army of security lay in wait outside my house with enough artillery to take down a small village. Not to mention Zane’s “friends,” who apparently still hovered over the area like underground Corleone watchdogs. If my father wanted me, he’d need CIA operative equipment to get me. With about thirty outstanding warrants, I could rest easy that wasn’t in the cards tonight.
Snuggling into bed, I pulled the covers up to my cheeks and within seconds, the room spun at warp speed. I had the best sleep of my life. I dreamt of nothing—as if nothing existed.
***
The first moment I woke up on my own, I knew.
Something wasn’t right. I felt too rested. The house was too quiet. I threw the blanket off and tumbled off the mattress. I’d left my contacts in overnight, so I rubbed my eyes fiercely, trying to recover from my blurred vision as I grabbed the alarm clock with both hands and shoved it against my face.
10:47 a.m.
One word tore from my throat.
“Iris!”
Oh god.
I’d slept over thirteen hours. I ran through the house, my feet barely touching the floor as I rounded the hallway to her room. My footsteps faltered and slowed as I reached her open door.
No. No. No.
My instinct forced me through the beckoning passageway. I forced my legs to carry me to what my brain already knew I’d find.
