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I look like the door greeter in hell.
Scooping my daughter from her crib, I shuffled my feet down the hallway, the smell of freshly cooked bacon hitting me. My protesting stomach growled, and I searched for the source of the accompanying smell.
Coffee.
“Holy hell, what happened to your hair?”
I shot Ryker a go to hell look and grabbed a mug. “I fell asleep with gum in my mouth, okay?”
“What were you chewing—a value pack?”
“Why are you here at the crack of dawn? Don’t you have a home?” I scowled.
“Yes.” He grinned and pointed to his plate. “But home doesn’t have a mom who cooks perfect bacon. Shouldn’t you change into clothes that don’t smell like baby vomit?”
I dumped half a carton of creamer in my mug. “Shut up, Iris wanted to eat.”
He popped a whole piece of bacon in his mouth. “You know they say you’re not supposed to drink coffee when you’re tit feeding, don’t you?”
I narrowed my eyes as I took a long deliberate sip. “It’s called breastfeeding. And unless they show up here and arrest me for it, they can suck it.”
“All right. Jesus, are you sure that baby’s my brother’s?”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“You may want a paternity test to find out if she’s Julian’s…or Satan’s.”
God, give me the strength not to throat punch him.
I squeezed the bridge of my nose. “Ry, I’m in no mood for this bull…” I stopped abruptly as he grabbed my hand from my face so fast, I had to shift to keep Iris cradled against my shoulder. “Ouch, what the hell?”
“What the fuck is that?”
“It appears to be my finger. Although, technically, it’s not the one I’m mentally holding up right now.”
Sneering, he pushed it toward my face. “Cute. Very cute. This, on your finger, Phoebe.”
“Well, they call that a diamond, baby J.”
“First of all, you know I hate it when you call me that. Second, I know what a damn diamond is, smart-ass. I meant what’s with it?”
“Prongs.”
“You’re wearing your wedding band with Mom in the house?”
Jerking my hand from his grasp, I cursed under my breath and covered his mouth. “Will you lower your damn voice?”
“Fine, god, you two take all the fun out of everything.” Picking up another piece of bacon, he chewed again. “I suggest you get rid of that thing if you don’t plan on telling her.” He was right. Eliza would sniff out my ring in the first five seconds. “If I were you, I’d light a fire under my ass.”
I stared blankly at him. “Huh?”
It happened simultaneously. The click of heels as they turned the corner, and the strong voice that carried authority across the room. “You suggest she get rid of what, son?”
Turning terrified eyes toward Ryker, I silently pleaded with him to save me. A petulant smirk deepened his ghost dimple.
Eliza pulled a pan from under the stove. “Silence makes a woman think you two are talking about her while she isn’t in the room to defend herself. Spill it.”
Mouthing “Please,” my heart beat wildly as seconds dragged on forever. Finally, he flashed his mother a dazzling smile. “Phoebe’s found a great way to dispose of her gum.” Snagging a handful of my mangled hair, he lifted it for her view. “Hair ornaments.”
