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“Don’t ask,” I snarled, and then relented as I felt his concern radiating from him. “Please. Don’t.”
He shook his head again. “You have been alone too long, Cepharius. Your mind feels feral. And,” he began, paused, then decided to finish in a rush, “you do realize you’re not the only one this tragedy has happened to?”
I roiled in the cave, ready to swim out and hide in my childhood room, where at least I could pretend not to hear anyone. “Your wife hurts too, I know?—”
“No, not that—I mean, yes, obviously—but there are other mateless kraken, you realize? You could talk to them.”
“I would prefer not to.”
He puffed himself up like he would when we were younger and he wanted to be in charge. “That’s your problem, Cepharius. You’ve always been stubborn. And you never wanted to take chances.”
And Balesur’s problem was that he never realized I didn’t want the life he led. He had been groomed to rule, ever since he’d hatched, whereas all I’d wanted in life was what I’d had and lost.
When I didn’t respond, he deflated some, giving in to whatever tenor our relationship had now.
“Go out tonight, brother—if for no other reason than because your pumping arm must be the weight of an anchor. Use this opportunity at home to find someone to put it in before tomorrow. Release some stress and pressure before this mission.”
“There is no need, brother,” I said, in the exact same tone that he spoke to me. “All of my stress and pressure will be gone the second this mission is finished.”
He took a long moment to stare at me. “As long as you are happy,” he said, and swam away, leaving me alone in the cavern just like I’d always wanted.
chapter 2
CEPHARIUS
The statue Gerron had broken was right outside my bedroom cavern.
It wasn’t even that badly damaged; only the tip of one of my tentacles had been chipped off. I wouldn’t have noticed it even if I’d stayed, although I could see where someone had used some kind of adhesive to try and stick a different stone on.
They hadn’t done a very good job.
I felt the sharp inquiry of a youthful mind come near. “I tried to fix it,” Gerron said, peeking around the corner at me. He’d been waiting inside my room for me to return.
I swam lower to inspect the break. “How many times?”
He made a noise rather than answer me, and I imagined him, working in futility with the quiet desperation of a child, trying to mend something so that I would return, like healing the stone would work a magic spell.
“Your mother is right, Gerron,” I said, twisting to look at him. “Always.”
The portion of him that I could see flashed a confused orange.
I settled to the ground in front of the statue, curling some of my tentacles around its base. The sculptor had captured my brother and I in motion, returning home from the fight that had temporarily cost my brother one of his lower-arms, and given me a scar across my chest in the shape of a star, where an enemy’s spear had pierced me.
I remembered going home after that to Cayoni, and how horrified she was that I’d nearly been lost. I’d played it off at the time, but now that she was gone I understood her fear and pain.
“My dad always said you were the best at carving things. Building things, too.”
“Your father says a lot of things.” I finished my inspection of the piece and rose up. Gerron hadn’t moved from his spot in my cave’s doorway. “No one comes to my room, I take it?”
He moved aside as I neared. “Not really, no.”
And when I pushed past him, I realized the room beyond was full of toys—some of which I recognized from my own childhood.
“What is all this?” I wondered at him.
He frowned deeply and zipped to the side in shame, to hide in the shadow of a wall. “I’m supposed to put them aside,” he thought out at me. “But I don’t want to!”
“So you keep them here,” I asked, while making sure to keep my tone calm. “So when you play with them, no one else will know.” My old room was quite large, which kept other krakens away from his thoughts naturally.
