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Darcy listened while her birth mother discussed her brothers. Then she folded her hands as the question that had haunted her for more than three years rose to the surface.
“Does kidney disease run in your family?” She froze, waiting for the response.
“Kidney disease?” Robyn asked. “Well, uh, my mother told me my grandfather suffered with kidney disease. He was on dialysis for several years. He passed away when I was an infant.” Then her brow creased. “Why do you ask?”
Darcy’s limbs trembled as the words she’d feared rolled through her mind: Her kidney disease was hereditary. There was a chance she could pass it along to her children. She took a ragged breath as she stared down at her sundress. Then she met her biological mother’s concerned gaze. “I had a kidney transplant a little over two years ago.”
Robyn leaned toward her. “Oh, Darcy. What happened?”
“I wasn’t feeling well, and when my symptoms seemed to linger longer than an ordinary virus, my doctor ran some tests. I thought I might have mono or something, but when the bloodwork came back, I found out the truth.” She stared out toward the line of stores across the street as memories of the ordeal filled her mind.
Robyn touched her hand. “Take your time.”
“My kidney function was declining, and the numbers weren’t good. My primary care doctor gave me a referral to a nephrologist.” She picked at a loose piece of wood on the bench seat. “Next thing I knew, I was told to start preparing for a transplant. My parents wanted to donate a kidney for me, but they both are older and weren’t matches.” She hedged as her eyes began to sting. “But my fiancé insisted on donating for me.”
“Your fiancé?”
Darcy nodded. “Yes, I was engaged... His name was Jace Allen.”
“Oh.” Robyn’s expression was full of curiosity.
“He wasn’t a match for me, so he donated a kidney on my behalf. He gave to another man about his age, while I received a kidney from a man who was donating for his daughter. It’s called a paired donor exchange.”
“And you were engaged to Jace?”
“Yes.” Darcy took a deep breath. “He passed away. It will be two years next month.”
“Oh sweetie. I am so sorry.” Robyn looped her arm around Darcy’s shoulders. “That had to be devastating for you.”
“Yes.” Darcy looked out toward a group of young women walking into a boutique across the street. “I had forgotten to pick up my medications, and he offered to go pick them up for me.” She released a tremulous breath. “He was turning into the pharmacy parking lot when a man ran a red light and broadsided him. He died on impact.” She shuddered. “If I had only gotten my medication a few days before, he’d still be here. We’d be married and maybe even starting a family by now. But he’s gone because of me.”
“Don’t say that, Darcy. It wasn’t your fault.”
“Yet I live with that guilt every day. And I don’t know how to move on.”
“But you are moving on. You’re with Carter now.”
“It’s not that simple. I love Carter, but I don’t know how to tell him. I also haven’t told him about the kidney transplant yet.” She hugged her arms to her middle. “I feel this invisible force holding me back. It’s like I can’t take that step with him. I can’t fully let go of Jace because it’s my fault he died. Jace gave up his kidney for me, and his life.” She turned toward Robyn and sniffed. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to unload.”
“Don’t apologize,” Robyn said. “You deserve happiness, Darcy.”
Although she nodded, she didn’t agree. “So kidney disease does run in your family.” Disappointment continued to rain down on her.
“Well, if my grandfather had it and now you have it, it seems to have skipped a few generations. I’m sorry you’ve suffered like that.”
Darcy ran her hands down her sundress. “I had wondered if I might pass the disease along to my children—if I ever get married and have a family.”
“I suppose there might be a chance, but I wouldn’t allow that fear to stop you from having a family if that’s what you want.” Robyn touched her arm. “How are your kidneys now?”
“Perfect. I saw the doctor the day my car wouldn’t start, which was the same day I met Carter. I’ll need to take medication for the rest of my life, but hopefully I won’t need another transplant.”
“That is a miracle.” Robyn rested her arm on Darcy’s shoulder. “I’m sorry I couldn’t be there for you when you were going through that.”
Darcy smiled at her. “But you’re here now.”
“Yes, I am.”
They sat on the bench and talked for another hour. Then they took a few selfies and walked to their cars sitting in a nearby parking lot.
