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She studied his profile as he stared straight ahead at the traffic light. His mouth was a thin line, his brow furrowed. He seemed to clutch the wheel as if his life depended on it. “When I met you in the doctor’s office parking lot, I was there for a checkup with my nephrologist,” Darcy said. “Were you there for a checkup too?”
He swallowed, and his Adam’s apple bobbed up and down. “Yeah.” He remained silent as the light turned green, and he drove through the intersection.
She gripped the hoodie’s cuffs, anger coursing through her. “Why didn’t you tell me about your transplant?”
“I could ask you the same question.”
Darcy wilted a little inside. They were both guilty of keeping the same secret. What were the odds of that? “I had a kidney transplant on April 3, two years ago. Jace was my paired donor, and he gave for me through a swap. I didn’t tell you because—”
“You didn’t trust me.”
“Is that why you didn’t tell me? Because you don’t trust me?”
Something unreadable drifted over his face. “I was on dialysis for a year. Then Shauna donated for me.”
She was silent for a minute. “What kind of dialysis?”
“Home. Peritoneal. Why?”
“That’s why you have that dimpled scar by your belly button.”
He stared at her. “How’d you know about that?”
“I saw it at the beach. I wondered what it was from.”
“And you didn’t ask me?” Before she could answer, he started talking again, his tone acid-laced. “Well, now you know why I’m broke. No insurance. Lots of bills. Expensive medications I’ll have to take for the rest of my life. I’m a burden because I’m not a trust fund baby.”
She scowled at him. “That was low, Carter. Really low.”
“You said you loved me. How can you say those words and not trust me with...” His voice was ragged, as if he’d spent all night screaming at a concert. “Forget it.”
She wanted to respond, to throw his words back in his face. But something stopped her. Her hypocrisy, for starters. They had both been holding back the one thing they should have been honest about long before now. Neither of them should have found out about their transplants like this.
“For what it’s worth,” she said, fighting the tremble in her voice, “six months after my transplant, Jace died going to the pharmacy to pick up my meds because I was too busy to get them myself.” She pressed her hand against her chest, the heartache returning. “The reason I didn’t tell you was because it has always been too painful to talk about. Maybe I was being selfish about not wanting to feel the ache that deeply again.”
He continued to stare straight ahead, his jaw set in stone.
“One of the reasons I wanted to know about my family history was so I could know for sure if my kidney disease was genetic. I found out from Robyn that my great-grandfather was on dialysis.”
“I’m sorry,” he mumbled. “And I’m sorry about Jace. But you could have told me all of this. I would have helped you. I would have comforted you.” His voice broke. “You held all that back from me.”
“Because—”
“It doesn’t matter why! Not anymore.”
“It matters to me.” She blinked away her tears. “And it matters that you wouldn’t tell me why you’ve had financial problems. I could have helped.”
“I’m not a charity case.” He clenched the steering wheel again. “I don’t want your money.”
And you don’t want me. He was making that as plain as day.
He was right: It didn’t matter anymore what the reasons were. The bottom line was that they didn’t trust each other, not enough to be completely honest.
When they reached her house, he nosed his truck into the driveway.
Darcy gathered up her purse from the floorboard and pushed open her door, ready to flee from this furious man. His rejection was worse than any pain she’d felt before. But she couldn’t leave without telling him one more truth.
“I do love you, Carter,” she said. “My feelings for you are real, and they’re true. I’m sorry I didn’t... I’m just sorry.” She jumped out of the truck and ran into her house.
