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“What’s wrong with me?”
When a sob shakes her, last night streams vivid behind my eyes, tightening my lungs until I can’t take in air.
My grip around her tightens, as though I could possibly be strong enough to keep her from the edge of whatever emotions are rioting inside right now. “Nothing is wrong with you.”
“You don’t know that. You don’t know anything about me.” Her fingers close over top of mine, threading, trembling. “You deserve better than everyone in your life has given you.”
“I don’t know about that. Think of how unbearable that could have made me.”
“You’re wonderful.”
“Please stop. I don’t know how to raise an ego. It’s going to suffer from generational trauma.”
“I mean it, Rowan,” she whispers. “You’re wonderful.”
My throat closes. “Are you okay, princess?”
“I’m here.” A frail breath moves through her. “Are you okay?”
“Better than I can ever remember.” Grasping her hand, I squeeze. “We don’t have to rush anything. There’s enough urgency in our lives. I just enjoy being with you, and I don’t care if you think that’s just because I’m susceptible to your charms, because I think you’re a little susceptible to mine as well.”
“You don’t get it.”
“Then explain it to me.”
A long moment passes. “I don’t know how to.”
With lemon and vanilla intoxicating me, I whisper, “Then I’ll wait until you do.”
“I…” Her hand pulls free of mine. “I think I need a little time to sort myself out.”
Before I can respond, her phone rings.
Feeling her leave my arms so she can get the burner off the nightstand is agonizing, but I take the moment to roll onto my back and cool down.
Stripped of everything that makes her so blindingly bright, she meets my eye. “I have to take this. We’ll…” Her gaze traces me, getting stuck on my scars. “We’ll talk again later.” Answering the phone, she says, “Wait,” then doesn’t utter another word until she’s out of the room.
All throughout a cold shower, unease niggles in the back of my mind, but I ignore the sensation. Adamantly. Until midnight.
When she still hasn’t come back to bed.
♠
“I need some space.” Corbin’s voice memo crackles through the speaker. My jaw tightens as I grip the cell to my ear. “Maybe after my face heals, I’ll be back. Try to get your priorities in order in the meantime. Wishing you the best.”
The audio cuts off for the fifth time, and I cover my eyes before deciding listening to the same thing over yet again won’t change what was said. Locking my phone, I toss it on the coffee table and lean back to stare at the ceiling of my bedroom.
It’s been two weeks since Briar walked out of my room and never came back.
Two weeks since her message of figuring things out at The Giungla for a bit also darkened my screen.
Without Aster and Corbin around to help me run the family business, you’d think I wouldn’t have quite so much time to think about her.
Unfortunately, she’s still everywhere I look.
Her dresses fill my closet. Her lemon and sugar scent clings to my bed sheets. Her subordinates and her snake are still next door. Still at breakfast. Still here.
Even though she isn’t.
