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He removes his grip entirely and turns away, but I jerk on his clothes, holding him in place.
“Answer me, Rowan.”
“Because!” he roars, grabbing my chin when he faces me again. “I know what it feels like. I know how terrifying it is to beg for air from a merciless monster. I know pain. I feel it whenever I close my eyes. I don’t want anyone who doesn’t deserve that kind of agony to endure anything close to it, so I’m careful. I’m careful because I know better.”
“Because you pride yourself in not being a monster?”
“It has nothing to do with pride.”
I press my lips together. “Then it has to do with fear. You’re afraid of what you could become if you let yourself be anything like your parents.”
He grimaces, but there’s an edge to him that comes off distinctly defeated. “I’ve already told you not to psychoanalyze me.”
“Then you shouldn’t make it so easy.”
His eyes search mine a moment before they skim my mouth and drag away.
“You want to know a secret?” I whisper.
“Sure,” he mutters.
“They say confidence is the most attractive trait a person can have, but I think confident men are the worst kind. Pride motivates excusing a great number of sins.” Pulling one hand free from his shirt, I graze my knuckles against his cheek, feel each rough inch slip against my flesh. “I much prefer fear.”
His muscles tense, and he slowly releases my face, letting his arm fall to his side.
“Fear is vulnerable. Fear is real. I can tell a lot about a person based on what scares them. And when someone’s greatest fear is hurting someone else…?” Standing on my toes, I glide my hands up his chest, let my fingers lock behind his neck, in his soft hair. “You’re the best kind of drug to me, Rowan. Strength mixed with kindness and shot up with terror. I know you’re desperate for something safe to rely on. Trust me. I can be exactly what you need.”
The barest shudder rocks into him as his jaw clenches. “Prove to me why you deserve my confidence.”
My lips find his jaw.
He stops me. “Seduction is a piss poor foundation for trust.”
I exhale a laugh against his skin while the way he smells lingers on the tip of my tongue. I savor the taste. “So innocent. You wouldn’t know what to do with yourself if I actually wanted to seduce you.”
He grips my forearms. “Are you sure about that?”
“Absolutely positive. I’m game for a round of seduction chicken if you are. Just say the word.” I settle my head against the broad expanse of his chest. “First person to pull away loses.”
“I know how chicken works.”
“Three, two, one…go.” My lips barely touch his throat before he rips my hands off him, forcing them to my sides as he shoves me away, back into the wall.
Putting distance between us, he folds his arms. “You have three seconds to convince me I should continue bothering with your nonsense.”
I glance at the posters all around the room. “Yes, well, you do seem rather pragmatic, don’t you?”
“Two.”
“There’s something about a countdown that I like. I don’t know what it is. Maybe it reminds me of a bomb.”
“One,” he grits.
I stride past him, gather my picnic basket off the floor, and situate the contents before I face him again. “Come on, pet. I’ll show you over dinner.” Extending my hand, I’m neither surprised when he ignores it, nor when he follows me anyway.
Chapter 7
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