Page 228 of Dirty Pleasures


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Her sorrow was a revelation, sharp and startling in its clarity.

And it wasn’t foreign.

And it wasn’t an invasion.

It was mine.

No one knew. It isn’t our fault.

Kaz’s embrace tightened around me. In his arms, I found the courage to confront the truth I had been running from. “Can you hear her?”

“Yes. . .she’s hurting.”

“And you are hurting too?”

I kept my eyes closed and leaned against his chest.

Her pain continued to unspool in my core, and it was a pain I had felt many times before. In fact, it was hard to explain, but I truly recognized this feeling, as one that I had experienced so many times.

Was it her those other times? Yes. . .it was her.

I trembled some more.

That pain. . .it came other times. . .so many times. . .her pain. . .inside of my chest. . .in my head. . .in my gut. . .in screams. . .in my tears.

But then. . .her pain. . .was my pain.

And right now we were both in pain over Max.

And for the first time since learning about her, I truly understood how Lunita and I, were truly two sides of the same coin.

Fractured parts of a whole.

Inseparable.

Intertwined.

The boundaries between us, once so distinct in my mind, began to blur, merging into a singular consciousness.

The realization hit me hard.

I’m sorry, Lunita.

I felt her pain as distinctly as I felt my own.

It was a mirror image of the heartache that I had tried to compartmentalize.

It was a shared suffering.

Tears blurred my vision, not just from sorrow, but from the overwhelming sense of unity.

I opened my eyes and looked up at Kaz. “She’s really sad.”

“And you are sad.”

“Y-yes.” I swallowed. “I can almost. . .feel her crying now. . .on the roof. . .ripping flowers out of her hair. . .screaming. The sky thundering up above.”

The line of his jaw twitched. “And what do you want to do, mysh?”

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