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“Not so fast,” he cut her off. “I agree that the original song is crappy, but the cover by Weezer is pretty good, so I’ll compromise with you and split the difference.”
“Split the difference?”
“The original “Africa” will count as half a song.”
“Are you for real?” She pursed her lips, the urge to throw the rest of her breadstick at him almost overwhelming, despite the fact she wasn’t one to waste good bread. “You’re giving me half a song?”
“It will bring your tally up to five and a half. Take it or leave it.”
“I’ll take it,” she said grudgingly, before continuing. ““Rico Suave”.”
“I won’t argue that one. Six and a half.”
““I’m Too Sexy”.”
He paused for a ridiculously long time before saying, “I’m torn on this one.”
“You better be fucking with me right now. Because if you’re seriously ‘torn’ over that song, your hotness quotient is going to take a swan dive—out of the Hindenburg, then off the bow of the Titanic, and into the Bermuda Triangle.”
“Fine.” He chuckled at her oddly specific threat and combative tone. “Seven and a half.”
““Achy Breaky Heart”.”
“Eight and a half.”
The ‘and a half’ nonsense was starting to drive her crazy, mainly because it was so idiotic. ““I Touch Myself”.”
David immediately shook his head.
“Seriously?” she asked, even though she should’ve seen it coming.
“It’s a good song. Actually, any song about masturbation is a good song,” he amended. “So if you’re thinking about trying to get any others past me, like “She Bop”, “Turning Japanese”, “Dancing With Myself”, “The Stroke”, or “Darling Nikki”, you should know they’ll be vetoed.”
““The Stroke” actually isn’t about masturbation.”
“It isn’t?”
“No.”
“Well, it’ll be vetoed anyway, since I thought it was.”
Paige turned her attention back to the task at hand. ““Pac-Man Fever”.”
He tilted his head. “What the hell is that?”
“It’s a song.”
“I’ve never heard of it.”
“It’s still a song. And it’s definitely just as bad as “We Built This City”.”
“Given the title, I’m sure it is, but since I haven’t heard it, I can’t judge if it’s just as bad as “We Built This City” or not. So, it doesn’t count.”
“I’ve never heard “Africa” by Weezer, and you screwed me on that. So you should be screwed on this.”
“I gave you half a song for the original, and that was a gift. I could’ve given you nothing.”
“Then give me half a song for “Pac-Man Fever”.”
