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I was tired of being afraid. I was tired of fear tethering me to the unknown. I knew Odhran wouldn’t hurt me. I knew he’d only give me soft touches and sweet kisses.
And so I found myself sitting on his lap before I could stop myself, before I could let all my thoughts weigh me down until there was nothing else I could think about. I could feel how tense he was underneath me, his nostrils flaring as he inhaled sharply.
I’d never done something so bold, never even thought about it, but here I was, both legs hanging over Odhran’s thickly muscled ones, my focus on his lips. I let myself memorize every part of his face, the masculine scruff that covered his jaw and cheeks. His eyes were so blue, his nose straight and strong, his lips full and pink.
I stared at the scar that ran the length of one side of his face and found myself lifting my hand to run my finger along it. I thought back to the day he’d gotten it, how I’d screamed and cried as I watched the sword move toward him and cut him deep.
“You’re so very beautiful to me,” I whispered, and felt my cheeks warm that I said the words out loud. Surely a male didn’t want to hear how beautiful he was. But the smile he gave me, and how he covered my hand that rested against the scar, had any shyness leaving me.
My heart was beating so hard and fast I could hear it. My other hand shook as I lifted it and cupped each side of his face. His scruff was springy yet soft under my palms.
For a suspended moment, neither of us spoke. He sat there and let me explore him, let me run my fingers over all the hard lines and sharp angles that made him so very masculine. And then I was staring at his mouth once more.
I trailed my fingers over his top lip, then moved it along his bottom. His mouth was soft despite all the maleness he exuded. And when I lightly shifted on his lap and felt the very prominent hardness right under my bottom, a soft sound escaped me.
“I’m sorry, Larkin,” he all but groaned. “I canna help it, no’ with ye so close.”
I smiled, because he sounded so pained in the best of ways.
He felt huge under my bottom, girthy and long, a little—or maybe a lot—frightening in size, if I were being honest.
“You’re so hard, Odhran.” I didn’t know why I said it out loud and instantly felt my cheeks heat in mortification.
He rested his head back on the chair and looked at me with hooded eyes. The sound that came from him was part sigh, part moan, and then he was smoothing his fingers along my cheeks, where my flesh felt like it was on fire.
He didn’t say anything, and I knew he was giving me the power to do as little or as much as I wanted, even if I could see in his eyes how hard it was to relinquish his dominance.
He started breathing harder. I could see how tight his jaw was, felt how his whole body trembled. And in that moment, I felt very powerful. I wasn’t even half the size of my mate, yet he looked at me as if I frightened him.
I slid my hands down his cheeks and cupped either side of his neck. His pulse beat frantically beneath my fingers, and I slowly licked my lips, feeling warmth fill me.
I remembered this sensation from when we were in that clearing and he kissed me passionately. I could still taste the wild flavor that covered his tongue and lips as I felt all that hard masculinity press against me.
My body softened, I heard a low rumble leave him, and I was moving closer, my focus on his lips. His mouth was slightly parted, his canines getting longer right before my eyes.
It was a heady sensation, seeing Odhran aroused, even more powerful to feel that desire lick across my body. Because although I knew he was trying to control himself, knew how powerful he was, I also knew he wouldn’t hurt me. Never.
He still said nothing, didn’t move, didn’t try to touch me anymore than he was.
I pressed my lips against his, just the lightest of touches. This was the first time I’d been the one to initiate any kind of sexual act, and as much as it was empowering, I felt grossly inadequate, wholly inexperienced.
But I also knew Odhran, being my fated mate, would also be just as inexperienced as I was. Neither one of us had touched another, never desired anyone else.
But his instincts would take over, the primal, alpha side of him knowing exactly what to do, knowing inherently how to pleasure me when the time came.
I moved my mouth slowly over his, exploring his lips, tasting his passion for me. His body was so hard beneath me, all but shaking in his need, in his arousal. The heavy, throbbing stiffness of his erection dug into my bottom, jerking every once in a while as I delved deeper into the kiss, as I explored him more thoroughly.
And when I opened my mouth and dragged my tongue along the seam of his lips, the harsh groan that left him sent a surge of power through me. He moved his tongue sensually, slowly along mine, and a soft gasp followed by a moan left me.
I heard his nails clawing at the leather armrest, heard his heavy, increased breathing, and I felt fire move through me before settling right between my legs. Warm wetness spilled from me, and I clenched my thighs, the sensation so foreign that I pulled back, my eyes feeling wide as I panted.
His eyes were hooded, his lips red and glossy and slightly parted from our kiss. He was so very big and masculine, his shoulders so broad, his muscles so pronounced that even the chair seemed minuscule in comparison.
I felt more wetness spill from that secret place between my thighs and watched as his nostrils flared. My face heated further, understanding he could smell me, knew my desire was raging for him.
“It’s okay, darlin’.” His voice was so deep and distorted I knew his wolf was sharing this time with the both of us.
And as if to let me know the beast was here too, Odhran’s eyes flashed blue.
