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He closed his eyes and breathed out through his nose. After long seconds, he finally looked at me again, seeming to be more in control. “Aye. I could no’ travel with ye injured, but we are far enough away that we’re safe. Verra far, darlin’. After, I assessed yer wound and thanked the gods the bullet passed cleanly through. But still, I had no medical supplies and no one tae ask for help.” He stared at the open window. “But we were close tae the ocean. I could smell it, so I did the only thing I could think of.” He faced me once more. “I took ye tae the water and prayed it would help until I could figure out the next step.”
We both sat in silence for long moments, but it wasn’t tense or forced; it was a kind of quiet where someone could think, could reflect on everything. It was very clear by the tenseness of Odhran’s body he was thinking about things we both probably preferred he didn’t.
“I stayed in small inns for only a day at a time before moving on, keeping close tae the coast so I could get ye in the water tae heal.” He scrubbed a hand over his dark-blond hair, messing up the short strands and making him seem almost boyish in appearance. “Once I got in contact with Banner and could access my accounts and funds, acquired supplies tae take care of ye, I found this cottage, and we’ve been holed up here for days, allowing ye time tae rest and get better.”
“Thank you,” I whispered, and there was this hardness to his expression that startled me.
“Ye shouldn’t thank me. I failed—” He cleared his throat. “I failed ye. I’ll never forgive myself. I’ll never forgive myself for letting them take ye, for all the horrible things they did tae ye.” He exhaled, and I shook my head. “I can never forgive myself, but I can spend the rest of my life atoning, and can show ye that I am a male of worth for my mate.”
I didn’t realize I was crying until I felt fat tears sliding down my cheeks. He brushed them away with the pad of his thumb and then brought it to his mouth to lick my sorrow.
“It’s not your fault. It’s not anyone’s fault but theirs.” Of course, I knew my words fell on deaf ears. He’d been beating himself up this entire time. Nothing I said or did would convince him otherwise. So I would just need to show him that I wasn’t broken and would be able to have a happy life with him, with myself.
I glanced down at my side, seeing the brand I’d gotten while with the Assembly, where this new pain had settled most intensely. I used my free hand to lift the shirt I wore, one that I just realized smelled of Odhran and swallowed me whole because it was his.
When my side was revealed, I spied the old mark that I remembered getting vividly. I gingerly tried to pull off the bandage.
“Here, let me.” His voice was gruff, and I glanced at him to see he stared at the crescent and starburst insignia of the Assembly burned into my flesh. His eyes flashed blue, his jaw was locked tight, and he flared his nostrils as he breathed harshly.
He closed his eyes a second, and when he opened them again, I could see he was more in control. His touch soft as he pulled off the tape and gauze to reveal the bullet wound.
I stared at the circular healing wound, and a little laugh welled out of me.
“Lass?” There was clear confusion and concern in his voice.
“For something that hurts so much, I can’t believe how small it is.” When I was met with silence, I looked at Odhran. He had a confused expression on his face before finally his lips curved into a smile.
“My sweet, soft-hearted girl can find humor in darkness.” His voice was deep and tight, but his smile was still in place.
If I died right now, with the ocean air filling the room, the sound of the waves lulling me into a sense of well-being, and the feel of my mate so close, his touch so solidifying and right, I would die contently.
He adjusted the bandage, pulled my shirt back down, and covered me with the blanket. It had been so long since I had the healing properties of natural bodies of water, and I knew I’d been starved for it. I’d yearned for it. And although the water was healing, it wasn’t a miracle, wasn’t laced in magic. There was still pain, still weakness. I’d most definitely be scarred. But I’d be alive, and that was all that mattered.
“Ye’ve been in and out of it for a few days. I managed tae get some broth intae ye while ye were conscious enough tae swallow, made sure yer wound was clean, took ye out of the dirty clothes and slipped my shirt on ye.” He glanced away quickly, and I watched as his throat bobbed when he swallowed. “If ye’re worried that I was inappropriate?—”
“—never.” I waited until he glanced at me before continuing. “I know you’re honorable, a gentleman.” It was my turn to squeeze his hand. “I know you’d never do anything to hurt me.”
He cleared his throat again and, dare I say… looked sheepish. I laughed softly.
“I love that sound,” he said, and my laughter faded off at the clear heat in his voice. “Nothing sounds as sweet as yer voice.”
Oh my heart.
“What next? What happens when I’m healed and we don’t have to be here?”
“I’ll take ye tae yer family home but, lass?—”
“I know,” I said, cutting him off. “I know they aren’t there any longer. I can feel it in my heart, have for years. But I still want to go.”
He nodded, a fierce look on his face. “After that, we’ll journey tae Scotland.”
“What’s in Scotland?”
His eyes flashed blue, but I wasn’t afraid. I felt protected and safe, knowing his inner animal wouldn’t let anything hurt me. I could see it in his face, smell it in the air, and knew he’d rather die than feel like he betrayed me.
I stared at his face, saw the jagged scar he sported, remembered how he got it so long ago, how he’d fought so bravely and determinedly.
“Home, darlin’. Home is what’s in Scotland.”
