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“So I saw,” he said. I heard a frustration and darkness in his voice that was counter to the reaction I expected.
“You’re not happy?” I asked. I sipped my latte as I led Callum down the walking path that circled the park.
“Believe it or not, I wasn’t trying to make any sort of announcement last night. Kind of sucks when the whole world decides what you’re trying to say without consulting you …”
This was surprising. Callum seemed genuinely upset by whatever was being said about him online this morning. It made me glad for my small life in a small town where no one much cared what I was doing with my life.
“Sorry,” Callum said, running his hand through his hair. “That’s not what I came to talk to you about.”
I braced herself. I had tried to make it clear to Callum that I understood last night was a one-time thing. I didn’t need some sad story about his life on the road and how it wasn’t the right time to settle down.
“It’s alright,” I said. “We don’t have to talk about it.”
“You didn’t have to run out of there,” Callum said. “I mean … you could have stayed.”
“It’s alright,” I said again. “It was late. And I had work …”
I realized the irony of this statement as I walked in the park and sipped coffee at ten a.m. Clearly work wasn’t that important if I was here right now.
“I didn’t …” he seemed conflicted, as if he wasn’t sure what to say. “I’m sorry if things moved too fast last night.”
“Don’t worry about it.” I felt like a broken record, saying the same words over and over. I felt trapped in a conversation I didn’t want to have. It was time to make Callum understand that I was fine with the way things happened last night. Otherwise, Callum and I were in for a very awkward summer.
“Look,” I said, ready to lay it all on the line. “I don’t regret what happened. I wanted it to happen. But I don’t expect anything. I know you have a busy life. I do too! I have a business to worry about.”
“I know that,” Callum said.
“I’m focusing on the real estate office right now. I want to put my energy where it really matters, you know? So, let’s just leave it. It was good that it happened, but it doesn’t have to happen again, okay?”
My heart beat hard in my chest, but a sense of relief washed over me. There, I had said it. And now there would be no confusion about what I expected. I wasn’t some clingy fan who would send him love letters and ask when I would see him again. I was an adult who could make adult decisions, and Callum was free to make his.
“Okay,” Callum said. “I get it.” I sensed hesitation in his voice, and that same sadness that had hung over him from the moment I saw him today. I couldn’t help wondering if it was part of some well-rehearsed, moody-musician vibe.
“I have to get to work,” I said, unsure what else he wanted me to say. From this part of the park, I could easily cut through to my office which was just down the road on Main Street.
“Come to dinner with me.”
The words stopped me in my tracks. I turned to look at him and saw a slight smile turning up one corner of his mouth.
“I can’t,” I said, searching his face. Was he joking with me? “Like I said—I’m focusing on my business right now.”
With that, I walked away, leaving Callum standing on the path. I felt a sense of accomplishment and pride over how I had handled things with him. Last night was fun, but now I had released Callum from any obligation to me. Yes, it felt good. And that feeling was almost enough to mask the hurt and sadness I felt as I walked away from Callum Jones.
10
CALLUM
Iwant to put my energy where it really matters, you know?
I sighed as Darcy’s words played over and over in my head. My coffee had long gone cold, but I still walked the park, fighting my way through my thoughts. How could so much have gone wrong in one night?
When I first kissed Darcy, I didn’t understand what a hold that kiss (and everything that came after) would have on me. Sure, I had always found her smart and beautiful. But the feelings coursing through me now were more than some crush. I wanted to be near her, and Darcy’s efforts to push me away left me feeling confused and wounded.
And on top of these personal problems, I was facing furious bandmates and an irate manager who thought I had somehow gone behind all their backs to break up the band. I had spent the morning on the phone, trying to make them understand that my concert last night hadn’t been some big statement. I only wanted to try out some new music in a safe place.
Needless to say, the band and Brady were not convinced.
And even worse, every time I checked the YouTube clip, the number of views had jumped up. And my name was officially trending. My voicemail was filled with news outlets or reporters, asking for a statement. So far I was ignoring them, but I knew it was only a matter of time before I would need to give a response. I took out my phone to see if I could report the video to YouTube. Maybe I could claim a copyright infringement and ask them to take it down. But my mind started floating to all the strange outcomes that might come from this.
