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He drops his head and shakes it. “I know it’s wrong.”
“Me, too,” I whisper. “But I don’t care anymore.”
There’s another long stretch of silence. Heaviness fills the air like a room full of secrets waiting to be unveiled. I keep staring at Gabriel’s back, waiting…
Eventually, he reaches for the doorknob. I shut my eyes, thinking it’s over. Unlike me, he’s strong enough to walk away. But then…
A loud sch-liff echoes through the room.
The door lock clanks closed.
He’s locked my door!
My eyes flare open.
Gabriel turns, and our eyes meet. He stares at me with an intensity that burns my skin.
He begins to walk. Slowly. Like he’s giving me a chance to stop him. But every step makes my pulse quicken. By the time he reaches my desk, I feel like a pot of boiling water and the lid is about to blow off. I don’t move. Not an inch. But Gabriel keeps coming, right around the barrier of my desk, until he’s so close behind me I can feel the heat of his body, his hot breath tickling my neck.
“I won’t do anything you don’t want.” He nips at my earlobe with his teeth and an electric current races down my body. “All you need to do is tell me to stop.”
A few heartbeats pass. I don’t turn around. Don’t face him. But I step back and press my body to his. I feel his erection digging into my lower back. Yet I still sense a hesitancy. He hasn’t touched me, at least not intentionally. I let my head loll back against his chest.
“Touch me,” I groan.
Gabriel reaches around and gropes my breast through the silk of my blouse. It’s rough and punishing, but it’s exactly how I want it. What I deserve.
“Tell me you want me to fuck you, Meredith.”
I close my eyes as I pant. Gabriel buries his head in my hair and sucks along my neck. “Tell me,” he growls, his lips vibrating against my skin. “Tell me you want me to fuck you.”
“I do,” I croak. I already know I’ll hate myself tomorrow, probably even sooner, but I’ve never wanted anyone more than I want this man right now.
His hand slips between us. I can feel it travel down to his hard-on, and then there’s a sound that makes my eyes roll back into my head. Zipper teeth coming undone. It’s the most erotic thing I’ve ever heard in my life. Gabriel goes to turn me around, but I stop him and bend forward, bringing my chest to the top of my desk like he told me he’d imagined.
He bends over me so his mouth is again at my ear. “Do what? I want to hear you say the words.”
I can barely speak, my breath too tangled in my throat for words to pass, but somehow I manage to squeak out a whisper. “I want you to hold me down and fuck me hard.”
“Good girl…”
He stands, but keeps a heavy hand on my back, not allowing me to rise. Then he bunches up my skirt, pulls my panties to one side, and before I can brace for what’s about to happen—I’m about to sleep with my patient—no, sleep with the husband of the woman my husband killed—his thick crown is at my opening.
And I’m wet. Dripping. Shamelessly ready and inviting.
Gabriel enters me in one thrust. There is no foreplay. Or maybe that’s what we’ve been doing all these months. I don’t know. But he buries himself deep and lets out a thunderous groan. His hips are flush against my ass, and I can feel his body shaking from the inside out. Once he steadies, he gathers my hair into one of his hands and yanks until my neck is fully extended back. Then I do something I’ve never done before. In the moment, I don’t even realize where it’s coming from, but I hold my breath. Gabriel plows into me from behind, thrust after thrust, deeper and deeper. I start to feel lightheaded, desperate for air. My body begins to shake as the seconds tick by without oxygen. Just when I think I might pass out, he buries himself and knocks the wind out of my lungs with a rush. My body responds with a surge of dopamine, serotonin, and endorphins that brings an exhilaration I’ve never felt before. It’s an ecstasy I want to last forever. But too soon it ends. Gabriel pulls out, finishing with a roar.
I’m sated, every bone in my body liquefied, but my brain kicks on.
What did I do?
What the hell did I just do?
I’m still in a fog interrogating myself when Gabriel lets go of my hair. He tugs at my skirt, pulling it down to cover my ass once again.
“Meredith…” he says softly.
I feel a surge of adrenaline kick in. It hits so fast I feel like I might throw up. My hand clutches my throat. “You need to go.”
