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It’s like something ripped out of my wildest dreams. Something my teenage self desired so badly, something I resigned myself to accept would never happen the older I got. The low, golden glow against the wooden bookshelves captures my favorite section of the library in magic.
Theo steps in front of me to hold out a chair, his smile growing at whatever shocked expression must be plastered to my face.
“Milady?” And just when I think I’ve seen it all, Theo grants me a new kind of smile. Two rows of white teeth glitter, as his mouth spreads as far as it can go into a grin that’s nothing short of victorious. A hero’s smile, captured in gold.
“You did all this for me?” I can barely get the question out past the emotion choking my voice. When I try to clear my throat, it doesn’t quite work.
I glance up at Theo, and then the dancing shadow of his silhouette when looking at him becomes too hard. It’s not just the setup that’s been ripped out of my wildest dreams, but Theo himself, too. He’s something plucked out of a fairy tale, or better yet, one of my favorite romance novels. The glittering eyes of a hero, the determined stance of a man who would topple kingdoms to be with his beloved. The vulnerability of a man about to get down on one knee.
“You planned an elaborate dinner surrounded by my favorite books of all time?”
“Does that mean you like it?” His smile softens as tears begin to sting my eyes. Even still, there’s something twitchy about the way he gestures to the table. Like those nerves I first noticed in my apartment haven’t gone away yet. “Angela helped me plan it. I wanted the second part of the date to be planned around you, since the first part was all football. She helped me set this up while you were getting ready.”
“It’s perfect.” I try to smile, but I’m sure it comes out watery. “Why would you go through so much trouble for me?”
I don’t know why the question comes out now of all times, but I suddenly have to know. We’re only supposed to be rebounds, but this entire date is the most romantic thing that’s ever happened to me and we’re not even together. Not really. This isn’t the kind of date rebounds go on with each other, if they even go out on dates at all. Dinner and a movie. A nighttime stroll along the River Walk downtown, at the most. Not something that requires enlisting the help of a best friend to plan.
“Let’s sit down,” he says, not answering my question as he ducks away. He gestures to the chair he pulled out for me earlier, before walking to the other side and taking a seat himself. “And there’s another surprise after dinner, so don’t go getting teary-eyed on me yet.” He lets out a nervous laugh, and it’s all too much. I’m on the brink of a mental breakdown, and we haven’t even eaten a single bite.
“Another surprise?” His smile turns sheepish as my mouth falls open in shock for the thousandth time tonight. “You’re too much.” My voice comes out in a rasp. I have to clear my throat twice before I can speak normally again. “The pasta looks good.” It’s a lame observation, considering the circumstances.
He smiles at me over the tea lights, and then we dig in. “So, what’s a day at the library like?” he asks mildly, as if my mind isn’t already reeling in a thousand different directions.
“Depends on the day,” I say, my thoughts distracting me from really answering. Finally, I shake my head and ask what’s really on my mind. “Theo, what is all this for? We could’ve just gone to dinner at an actual restaurant and maybe seen a movie after. You didn’t have to do…” I gesture all around me with a sound of disbelief. “You didn’t have to do all this.”
“Maybe I just wanted to do something special for you.” His brows crease as he gauges what exactly I’m asking. His mouth sets in a slight frown, but I can’t help but keep questioning why he would do this for me. I’m ruining the moment, but I have to know. “Is that really so hard to believe?”
“Well, yeah!” I burst out. “This is the kind of date you plan for someone right before you get engaged. Hell, Ben didn’t even plan something this elaborate for Alice. You don’t just do something like this for the girl you’re seeing casually.”
“Okay, then let’s talk about that.” He sits up straight in his seat. “I don’t want to do casual with you anymore.”
For a moment, my heart stops. This is it. The end of whatever we are. But when he opens his mouth to explain, he surprises me all over again.
“Relationships aren’t exactly my strong suit. I’ve never been in one before, not a real relationship anyway, but…” He looks over at me, eyes softening in a way that makes me feel like the vulnerable one. “Marcela, I don’t feel this way very often about someone, but I want more with you. I don’t just want to be the person who helps you get over Ben. And I don’t just want to be the guy you stopped from destroying Alice’s engagement party and mistakenly hooked up with. Maybe it’s naive or hopeless to want something deeper with you, but I do.”
I want more with you.
He’s not ending this. He’s… asking me something. Asking for us to be more than casual. My tongue feels like sandpaper. I don’t trust myself to open my mouth, because if I do, I’m not sure what will come out. But my throat is so dry, I’m not sure anything would be able to come out at all.
Those dark blue eyes are rimmed in gold as they watch me carefully, waiting for the impact of his confession to land. But I’m frozen solid, trapped in his gaze.
“Marcela,” he says when I’ve been silent for too long. “Is there any chance you feel the same?”
Twenty-Six
Yes. I do. Of course, I do. But also… no. No.
We can’t.
None of this was supposed to happen.
“How…” I start, shaking my head. “How can this possibly work when we’re still getting over other people?”
“I don’t have all the answers. All I know is that I never expected to feel the way that I do about you,” he tells me. “And I meant what I said the other day. I’m walking away from Alice—for good. I should’ve done it a long time ago, but until now, I never had a real reason to. Marcela, I—”
“Theo, we can’t.” His face falls until his eyes shut closed. His shoulders slump in disappointment, but when he opens his eyes again, his expression becomes resolute. I hate how my mind is already spinning with ways to beat him down again, but we can’t do this. “I can’t be the reason you walk away from Alice. What happens if—or when, really—this doesn’t work out? Are you gonna go running back to her?”
“No,” he says, his voice firm as he shakes his head. “No, I—”
