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“Alice, hey.” She takes Theo’s vacant spot. “What’s up?”
She meets my eyes for so long, I start to squirm. The silence between us grows, awkward and uncomfortable. Nothing in her expression gives her away, but my heart is pounding fast. Dread builds in the pit of my stomach, and I’m seconds away from shouting “WHAT DO YOU WANT?” before she finally says something.
“I hope you know what you’re doing.”
Eight
There’s something ominous about her words. As if she actually can see through me, like I’ve suspected for all these years. I hope you know what you’re doing.
“About what?” I ask, feigning nonchalance and failing miserably. About sleeping with Theo when I’m in love with his brother? About pretending I’m sleeping with Theo to make it look like I don’t, in fact, have feelings for a man I can’t have? It’s comfortably cool inside the bar but sweat starts to bead on my forehead. There are too many ways this line of questioning can go, and I’m far too afraid to guess which direction she’ll take it.
She tilts her head, brown eyes narrowed slightly in that inquisitive way of hers.
“You and Theo.” Me and Theo. Up until this weekend, I never thought there could be such a thing. “Look, you’re a grown woman and I respect whatever choice you make. But his reputation precedes him.”
I want to laugh, for so many reasons, but somehow manage to keep a straight face.
“Ben’s worried you’re getting yourself into a bad situation. You’ve never been big on hookups, and Theo’s never spent longer than two weeks with the same girl.” I flinch again. I knew Theo was bad, but I didn’t think he was that bad.
“I’m good,” I assure her, or at least try to, but she doesn’t look convinced. “I wanna try out something casual for once. See how the other half lives, and all that.” It’s not exactly a lie, but a misdirection. Because while that might be true, I already know that a casual relationship with Theo will only end in disaster.
You hear that, common sense? Now return to my brain, please.
“Really?” Her eyes widen. “I didn’t think that was your style.”
“Not usually.” I play with the straw in my drink to have something to do with my hands, even though nothing but dregs remain inside the glass. “But I don’t know. Maybe I’m missing out on all the fun.” And I am in desperate need of some fun. Not that Theo would truly make himself an option. But if he did…
Okay, looks like I’m saying goodbye to common sense for the night.
Alice won’t be any help either, because she’s smiling. Actually smiling at the thought of Theo and me hooking up. Maybe I’m a better actress than I give myself credit for.
“Then I hope you have some. Just be careful. Guard your heart around that one.”
“I will,” I say, and it’s the first true thing I’ve said to her tonight.
When she turns back to her table, Theo fills her vacant spot carrying a second round of tequila shots. Wordlessly, we clink glasses and down them. It burns less the second time around.
“What was that about?” Theo asks.
“Just a friendly warning to guard my heart around you,” I say with a faux-dramatic flair. “Did you know your reputation precedes you? I should start calling you Taylor Swift.” He bursts into another laugh, clapping his hands. “It’s too bad we got caught up in this situation. You could be out finding a real hookup instead of hanging with me.”
“Aw, but I like hanging out with you.” He reaches out a hand to touch my arm. His skin is warm, heating me from the inside out. What is wrong with me? Goosebumps break out on my arms from the simple touch. I only hope he doesn’t notice. “Plus, it’s kinda fun messing with everyone. Let’s enjoy it now, and fake break up later.”
“The sooner the better, before this whole thing gets away from us.” But inside, I’m surprised by the bloom of disappointment that heats my chest. Don’t be stupid. How many times do I have to tell myself that before I finally listen? Theo Young is a bad idea. But is he worse than Ben? I still can’t decide. Though the more time we spend together, the more I begin to forget all about Ben.
And that can only be a good thing, right?
“It’s kinda funny, though.”
“What’s funny?”
“I was just talking to my best friend earlier today about finding a fling.” I’m treading dangerous water here. “I didn’t get that far, though. Tinder is a cesspool that I’m too chicken to wade through.”
“Is that so?” But he’s only half listening as his eyes fall on something past my shoulder. “They’re still staring. And giggling.” His voice pitches higher than normal. He sounds aggrieved by this, but I don’t know why. If they’re laughing, it’s at my expense. Christine is probably (loudly) wondering what he’s doing with someone like me, when he could be with her instead.
“Ignore them.” My gaze stays trained on him. “They just wish they were in my pretend-place. Except Angela. And Alice.”
He winces, and I bite my tongue. Damn my tipsy brain for having no filter. “I’m sorry.”
