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I can’t pretend that I don’t understand the way she’s feeling; I can only imagine the sort of hell she’s been through, even more so than me, in some ways—but I also know what sort of bomb her coming clean would be to everyone involved.
“Abby, I—” I clench my jaw, trying to sort through my feelings on this. “I can’t tell you what to do.”
“But?”
“But I can’t pretend it won’t be a fucking shit show.” I level my gaze with hers. “And not just for you.”
Her eyes drop to her knees, and she looks so young and vulnerable that I feel an almost visceral urge to close the distance between us and wrap my arms around her. Something I don’t even know if she’d want. After all this time, I still don’t quite know how to maneuver our…relationship.
“I know,” she says finally. “I know that. It’s probably a stupid idea.”
“I didn’t say that,” I try.
Her eyes are harder now. “But I’m sure you were thinking it.”
“Abby,” I sigh.
“It’s fine,” she says harshly, pushing up from the couch. “Fuck. I don’t even know why I came. It’s not like we’re really…” Her lips press together, and she looks so…lost. “I’m sorry.”
I move to stand, reaching out for her. “Abby, you don’t have to be—”
“Hey! Did you know we’re out of body wash? Had to use your weird bar. I hope it’s not for your balls or anything. My skin is going to be dry as fu—”
Abby and I both turn to find Jack haunting the end of the hallway with just a towel wrapped around his waist, his eyes darting between the two of us. A glance at Abby shows her face full of surprise as her eyes widen, and then she’s practically power walking to the front door, reaching for the handle and wrenching it open. She turns to linger in the doorway for a moment, giving me those same sad eyes.
“I’m sorry,” she offers. “I shouldn’t have barged in on you. Maybe we can talk later?”
I feel my nod, heavy and slow. “Sure.”
And with that she’s gone, the apartment door falling shut behind her as if she never had been here. The silence she leaves behind is palpable, so thick that the sound of Jack’s breathing feels as if it’s only steps away instead of all the way across the room.
“That was her, wasn’t it?”
I can only nod. “Yeah.”
“What did she want?”
“I…” I shake my head. “I’m not really sure, honestly.”
It’s not the whole truth, but it’s not not the truth. She definitely seemed unsure of things.
“You need to talk about it?”
God. What is it about the Baker siblings and them wanting me to hash my shit out?
“I’m good,” I tell him. “We gotta get going soon, anyway.”
“Yeah.” Jack gives me a wan smile. “Aunt Bea will kick both our asses if we’re late to dinner.”
Because there isn’t enough confusion in my life right now, of course Jack and Lila’s aunt has invited us all to dinner tonight, meaning that I will have to sit across a table from the woman who’s causing chaos in my head in a home that always felt more mine than my own—all while pretending I’m not slowly unraveling. Add Abigail into the mix? My mind might as well be a basket of wet cats right now.
“Let me hop in the shower real quick,” I say, “and then we can go.”
“Okay,” Jack answers. “We really are out of body wash, though, just a heads-up.” I turn, catching the way his nose wrinkles in distaste. “The bar on the shelf isn’t for your balls, right?”
My mouth quirks, and I shrug one shoulder as I head past him toward the bathroom. “Who can say?”
His mumbled “Dick” and the resulting laugh it pulls from me might be the most normal thing that has happened today.
