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She shakes her head, smiling. “No, he was brilliant. I think most brilliant people tend to be a little eccentric.”
“Is eccentric a nice word for ‘kind of a dick’?”
She laughs again, and I can’t help but enjoy the sound. Lila laughs with her whole body; she throws her head back, and it comes from deep down in her stomach, her entire face lighting up like she’s not thinking about how she looks or what she sounds like—Lila laughs like she’s happy to just be. It’s infectious.
It’s also hard to ignore how it makes my chest feel too warm.
“But you got it, right? I mean, you must have, eventually.”
She nods. “I’m still not going to get snatched up as anyone’s interpreter, but I get by.”
“Well, go on,” I say with a wave of my hand. “Talk French to me.”
I say it as a joke, mostly, which means I could never anticipate the way my pulse quickens when she opens her mouth, sounding every bit a native to the French tongue in my very limited experience as her soft tone shapes softer words.
“Tu es mignon avec tes longs cheveux.”
Jesus.
My fucking dick twitches. Twitches. Because Lila Baker just said God knows what to me in French. What the hell is that about? I clench my teeth, mentally sending down a message for my cock to settle the fuck down.
“What um”—I have to clear my throat again, because it’s suddenly dry—“What did you say?”
Her smile is just a bit wicked as she leans to prop her chin on her fists. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”
I would. I really would.
“Brat,” I manage with a tight laugh, and I don’t miss the way her eyes round slightly with the word, which is interesting. It’s also something I shouldn’t be noticing, probably. “You sounded pretty French to me.”
“Well, I was there for three years.” She twirls her straw in her cup. “What about you? Big change from Calgary to Boston. Do you miss it?”
“Parts of it, maybe?” I shrug, desperate for the distraction. “But Boston is home, you know? I’m really happy to be back.”
Her mouth turns into a thin line, and I can see the flash of pity in her eyes, even if it only lasts a moment. It’s still long enough for something sour to settle in my stomach. I know where her mind is, because it’s written all over her face. I can’t say why it’s so upsetting to know that Lila is thinking at this very moment about all the reasons I left, but I don’t like it.
“I didn’t read the stories,” she says quietly, confirming what I already knew. “I know they’re bullshit.”
And weirdly, I believe she believes that. Lila always did have an overinflated opinion of me. She thought I hung the moon when we were kids. Even after all these years, I don’t like the thought of marring that image, even if it was always misguided. When we were younger, sometimes it felt like I could do no wrong in her eyes, and in turn, that used to give me the confidence sometimes to feel the same way, as silly as it sounds. I used to think it was because she was so much like a sister to me. Now that thought feels…odd.
I can’t meet her eyes, focusing on my cup instead. “Yeah. Well.”
“I still can’t believe people are stirring it all back up again,” she says irritably. “You would think they had better things to do.”
“Yeah.”
Apparently, I’ve been reduced to monosyllables.
I could tell her, I think fleetingly. Jack knows, after all. There’s no reason why I couldn’t tell Lila. I don’t even know what’s keeping me from doing so right now. Maybe it’s just that it’s too much, after so long. Dumping my problems on her after seeing her for the first time in practically a decade is probably a weird move.
“Well,” I say instead, “hopefully I don’t embarrass us too badly on your show, and people get something better to talk about.”
She smiles again. Which means more of that fucking dimple. I try to take another drink, only to realize that I’ve already downed it all. Great.
“I won’t let you burn your fingers off,” she teases. “You wouldn’t be able to hold a stick again, and then I’d be the one in the hot seat.”
I can’t help but grin. “I doubt they’d miss me too bad. I’m old news now.”
“Shut up.” She rolls your eyes. “I watch your games when I can. You’ve still got it, Cupcake.”
