AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“I can understand that,” I began. Oscar nodded and curled his hands around Frank. “But, baby… they’re begging for you to let go and let them in. You’re not too much or too little for them. They already consider you a critical piece of their family—it’s clear they think the puzzle isn’t complete when you’re not there, the same way it is with Basil living in Iceland, only you’re actually right here. They want your company, your humor, your opinions. Marigold wants you to cut up with her. Lily wants you to think she’s a good mother. Jasmine wants you to meet her friends and talk about art with her. Sage wants to commiserate with you about being one of the single ones who gets set up all the time. You’re not ‘horning in’ on anything, Oscar Overton. There’s a space right there waiting for you and your funny, sarcastic, hedgehog-prickly self to fill it.”
He pushed past the grip I had on his face to bury it in the side of my neck. I gently removed Frank from his hands and set him in the little hedgehog basket on the bedside table so I could hold Oscar tightly without hurting either one of them. His body shuddered as he sucked in a breath, clearly trying to keep his strong emotions from escaping.
“Jesus, fuck, Oscar,” I finally said, shaking him a little in my grip. “It’s okay to feel things, for god’s sake!”
He pulled back and crushed his mouth to mine.
And then he let all his feelings out, only he did it through touch, through taste, through sharp nips of his teeth and bruising presses of his fingers. He begged me to fuck him, hard, and he thanked me for it with slow, languid kisses long after I’d made him come.
I knew better than to bring it up, to speak of these raw emotions again so soon after his intense reaction, so we settled in for an afternoon and evening binge-watching a new show we’d been anticipating. And we let ourselves and each other begin to accept the new, temporary normal.
Together.
Because even though the detonation cord had been lit, it would take exactly forty-six days for it to reach the gunpowder waiting for it at the end, and while the small flame made its way toward its goal, it would sizzle and spark…
And burn white-hot all the way to the end.
19
OSCAR
After Hugh spent the night at my apartment, we fell into a habit of fake dating more easily than I cared to admit. Unlike the days when Hugh and I hadn’t been speaking, which had dragged no matter how busy I tried to make myself, the remainder of November and most of December passed in a blur of work and cozy evenings, shopping and holiday preparations, Saturdays filled with family events and quiet, rainy Sundays on the couch.
I would have liked to pretend that the clear end date was the reason things were so easy, but the truth was… it was Hugh. Despite us coming from very different backgrounds and living very different lives, I’d never felt as comfortable with anyone as I did with him… unless I started to think about the future.
Because Hugh still wanted the happily ever after, and I didn’t know how to be that for him any better than I ever had. If we were in a real relationship, there would come a day when one of us would realize things simply weren’t right and that relationship would end. I couldn’t say for sure when or how it would happen—I never could—only that it would. And maybe that made it a self-fulfilling prophesy or something, but I didn’t think so. I’d dated so many good, kind, intelligent men—men who were obviously made for loving relationships since they went on to have them after me—and I’d tried to make it work with each of them. But like I’d told Hugh before, I lacked the talent to actually get there.
The fact that I had serious, scary, capital-F Feelings for Hugh, stronger than I’d ever felt for anyone—Feelings that seeped out of my pores while I slept and slid silently onto the body clutched tightly in my arms, escaped from my lungs on every exhale and were inhaled by Hugh’s generous mouth when I couldn’t pull away from his kiss, and even sometimes escaped my traitorous eyeballs and washed across Hugh’s face and chest when it was safe enough to disguise them in the warm water from a shared shower—wouldn’t change the outcome.
But they made me determined to enjoy every fucking second between now and New Year’s. To imprint Hugh on my soul forever.
“TJ said he’s okay with moving the in-person to a virtual meeting for the LA thing. It’s on your calendar,” Lesya said. “Meanwhile, your mom called and wanted me to find a time for you to go shopping with her for wedding and holiday stuff. I’m going to block off Friday afternoon unless there’s any reason I shouldn’t.”
I blinked, calling my attention back to my meeting and my assistant, who was waiting for my response with her tablet balanced on her knee.
“Oh, ah… yeah. Fine. But I told my friend Hugh I’d go with him to a holiday party that night, so tell my mother I’ll have to be done by six.”
She lifted an eyebrow. “Didn’t you just go to his party last week?”
A notification popped up on my phone. Hugh had just posted a new HEA TikTok. Without hesitation, I clicked it.
“Mhmm. Friends do that for each other,” I said, staring at Hugh’s gorgeous face on the screen before he swung the camera toward an older couple.
A minute passed. The video looped, and I watched it through a second time.
“Okay, far be it from me to suggest that you’re distracted,” Lesya began. “But you’re seriously hella distracted, Oscar. What’s going on with you? You seem… different. I dunno. Brighter, somehow.”
I found myself wanting to trace Hugh’s handsome face on my phone, so I clicked it off and guiltily set it facedown on my desk.
“Hyaluronic acid serum,” I said. I grabbed my own tablet so I could skim Chuckie’s business proposal. “I saw an interview with Jonathan Bailey about it. He said it’s like a glass of water for the face.”
She narrowed her eyes. “That’s not it. It’s almost like you’re in the honeymoon phase, but there’s been no rush phase.”
“Oh, please.” I rolled my eyes. “You know I hate when you insist on?—”
“You don’t have any exciting travel planned, no big projects that are about to go live,” she went on, tapping one manicured finger on her knee and studying me like a jigsaw puzzle. “I’d say it was because you’re spending so much time with your family, but even that just seems unusual?—”
A soft knock at the door interrupted her analysis, which would have been a relief, except a second later, a familiar curly-headed hottie poked his head into my office. My stomach did somersaults, which was a fairly standard reaction to seeing him these days.
