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The only exception to the perfect image was the small, nearly unnoticeable bulge in his coat pocket and the hint of Frank’s pink nose poking out of the top. If he’d brought his emotional support hedgehog, that meant Oscar was nervous, and the fact that I knew this, knew him, made my own nerves ratchet up another notch.
“Hi,” I said, unsure how to greet him.
“Hi,” he replied.
We stared at each other. Only a few steps physically separated us, but it may as well have been miles. I tried not to remember the fact I’d licked and kissed and teased this man the past. I knew how he smelled, how he tasted, how his throat made a faint guttural sound when he was on the verge of making me come.
My stomach tightened and twisted. How exactly was I going to be with him and pretend that the last few months had never happened? How could I allow myself to get close to him again, knowing our time together had an expiration date on it?
Something must have shifted in my expression because Oscar’s forehead furrowed slightly. “Something wrong?”
I pasted on a smile. “No. Just thinking about tonight. Thanks again for coming… and for picking me up. Definitely the sweetest car I’ve ever been in.” I reached for the door handle, but he grabbed it first, crowding into my space. He pulled the door open but stood directly in front of me, blocking my entry.
“You’re upset,” he said, eyes searching my face. “What’s wrong? Are you nervous about seeing Jared?” His voice went down an octave. “Worried he might make a play to get you back?”
“God, no,” I scoffed. He couldn’t be further from the truth. “Even if I wanted that, and I do not, Jared’s bringing his new boyfriend. The one he’s making plans to propose to over the holidays.”
“Propose? Marriage?”
Despite his nearness, despite my nerves, I found myself laughing out loud. “No, proposing they start a competitive underwater basket-weaving team.” I rolled my eyes. “Yes, Oscar. Marriage.”
Oscar shook his head. “Jared the commitment-phobe has decided to commit?”
“Mmm. I guess everything’s different when you meet the right person, huh?” I looked away. “Especially when that person is a famous drummer like Ben Garrison.”
His eyes widened. “Toxic Echo. Wow.”
I swallowed. “Yeah.”
Oscar’s expression was impossible to read. “How are you feeling about that?”
“Pretty shitty,” I told him honestly. “I don’t want him back. I never did. But I also don’t want him—or his family—thinking I’m still pining after him. They’re really nice people. Even Jared. Seriously! I wouldn’t have dated him as long as I did if he wasn’t,” I insisted, seeing the skeptical look on Oscar’s face. “If I know Jared, he’ll spend half his time glancing at me to make sure I’m okay. I can’t stand the idea of him wondering if his boyfriend situation is bothering me. I don’t want to deal with his pity.”
His eyes sought mine, and he squeezed my upper arm. “You know he’s an idiot for letting you go, right?”
“Sure he is.” I didn’t bother pointing out that this logic made Oscar an idiot too. “We should get on the road,” I told him instead.
It wasn’t until we were out of the city and halfway to Bloomfield that Oscar turned to me with an expression of conviction on his face. “I’m your boyfriend, and I’m madly in love with you.”
I blinked at the side of his face as he turned back to watch the road. “Uh… ’Scuse me?”
“For tonight, I mean. We’ll pretend, like we talked about when I was in Macau. You have to admit it’s the best way.”
I scratched behind my ear. “Is it? Because my sister knows the truth about us. Which means Dex knows the truth. And Jared’s his brother…”
Oscar reached over and took my hand in his, threading our fingers together. “No. They know the old truth. The new truth is that we decided to give this thing a try. And so far, it’s going amazing.”
Oscar squeezed my hand and held it. I imagined what it would be like to pretend to be Oscar’s boyfriend. For him to pretend to be mine.
“So I’m your boyfriend, huh?” I teased, trying to cover my nervous excitement. “How are you going to explain to everyone that you’re dating again after swearing off relationships?”
He kept his eyes on the road. “I won’t have to. No one at this party knows me except your sister. And eventually—maybe even tomorrow—you’ll tell her things didn’t work out. It wasn’t you, it was me. I was far too demanding. Possessive. Wanted to spend all my time with you, and it drove you crazy.”
I stared at him. “She’ll never believe that,” I said softly. I certainly couldn’t. No amount of time I could spend with Oscar that would ever feel like too much. It was being without him, trying to keep my distance, that was the problem.
“No?” He darted a glance at me and cleared his throat. “Well, you’ll come up with something,” he assured me.
I rubbed at the back of my neck. “I’d rather not lie at all if I don’t have to.”
