Page 227 of Staying Selfless


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“What’s up?” I grab his large hand in mine, threading my fingers through his and holding our intertwined hands in my lap. As I stroke his knuckles with the pad of my thumb, I watch Eli’s nerves wash away, and he gives me a grateful smile in return.

After all the time we’ve been together, I know how to calm him down. I know that at this point, something as simple as just my touch will get him to center. But honestly, Eli doesn’t even need me to bring him peace all that much anymore. He can do it for himself. He’s stayed consistent in therapy and has a pretty good grasp on controlling his mind now. I couldn’t tell you the last time he had a panic attack, and for him, I’m thankful that he doesn’t have to live his life with that burden.

“The reason I wanted to bring you here, to our spot,” Eli begins, taking a deep breath. “Is because I know how important this place is to both of us, and I want us to be able to say goodbye to it. Properly.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You know why I signed with Minnesota last year, and that was the best decision I could’ve made. It kept me home with you, and I got everything I wanted because of it. But it’s not my team, and I don’t think it’ll ever be my team. I want to contribute. I want to make a difference, and I don’t know that I’ll be able to make a meaningful impact here in the way I want.”

“Eli, I’ll go wherever you want. You know that. You made a lot of choices for my benefit last year, but this is about you.”

Eli wraps his arm around my shoulders, pulling my head to rest onto his chest as he quickly kisses the top of my hair.

“I want to take a trade offer. I got a few offers, and I want to take one.”

“Any chance you have a warm-weather location in mind?”

“What happened to my two-time Midwest winter survivor?” Eli teases.

“She remembered how cold she gets when it’s ten below zero.”

“Well, baby, I’ll buy you a new winter coat because Chicago offered to pay out my contract, and Minnesota is leaving the decision up to me. I think I want to take it.”

“Chicago?” I pull back to look at him, trying to hide the excited smile that wants to overtake my face. “We’re moving to Chicago?”

“What do you think?” he nervously asks. “It was my childhood dream to be a Raptor. My parents live only two hours away from the city, and I think I can make a difference in that lineup. They’re good, but they need a few more of the right pieces to be great, and I think I can be one of those pieces. But this is about both of us. It’s your decision, too.”

That smile I was trying to hold back is impossible to hide at this point. “This is your decision, Eli. But whatever you choose, I’m all in. I’ll always be all in for you.”

“I think I want to do it.” Eli’s lips begin to turn up at the corners.

“Then let’s do it.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes,” I encourage. “Hell yes. I think that’s the perfect team for you, Eli. As you said, your parents are a short drive away, and we both love it there. Also, every time we visit Zee, we have a blast. Speaking of.” I pause. “Are we not going to mention that you’ll be playing hockey with your best friend?”

“He doesn’t know yet.” Eli wears a sneaky grin. “I’m gonna tell him when we see him tonight.”

“When we see him tonight?”

Eli hesitates. “I mean when we call him tonight.”

“Does this mean I officially have to share my boyfriend with him?”

“Or that I have to share my girlfriend,” Eli counters. “I’m still not sure which one of us he enjoys hanging out with more.”

“What are we going to do about the house?” I ask, referring to the little place we bought together last year. “Do we need to sell?”

“I wanted to get your opinion on that. I want to keep it if you’re okay with that. Between the investments you made and my contract, we can afford it. And I’d like to keep a place where we can visit Trev, Stacey, and the boys. Plus, I want to be able to come back here.” He nods towards the water. “Whenever we want.”

Shockingly, at twenty-four years old, money isn’t an issue for us. I was already doing fine financially with the money my parents left me, but Jack helped me invest some of it, and now I’m more than fine. I’m set. We’re set. Plus, there’s that little detail of the insane paycheck Eli pulls in for being a professional athlete.

“I talked to Benny about it,” Eli adds. “He and Sarah want to rent it from us for their senior year.”

“I love that.”

“So, we’re doing it then?” Eli’s eyes are bright. “We’re moving to Chicago?”

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