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How am I supposed to handle all these emotions at once? How am I being flooded with fear and worry coupled with overwhelming joy and excitement, only to be reminded of the possibility that I might lose my best friend?
My body begins to slightly tremble uncontrollably, my face heating as everything hits me at once, the panic and fear settling in stronger than anything right now. I try to breathe, but no air is filling or expelling from my lungs. My heart is racing so fast it feels like it might just stop altogether. I think I might pass out. The room around me is caving in, the walls falling in on each other.
Fuck. I’m about to have a panic attack.
Or I’m having one. I’m not sure.
“EJ,” someone says, crouching down in front of me. “EJ, man, we need you.”
Where am I? Who the hell is talking to me right now?
Blackness and darkness are coating my eyes, pulling me into that abyss.
“Logan needs you,” they say.
Those words alone stop the hazy dark film from covering my vision and, instead, clear my sight to find Marc kneeling in front of me, speaking to me.
“Logan needs you right now, EJ. You can’t go there.”
A deep breath of air fills my lungs as my legs still, the anxious bouncing stopped.
“Is she going to be okay?” I cry, my voice hoarse.
Ali whimpers in the seat across from me as she tries to muffle her cries into the crook of her elbow.
“Logan is the strongest person we know, right?” Marc reminds me as he wipes his eyes with the back of his hand.
My brother’s phone dings next to him, grabbing it to read the incoming text.
“Mom says that dad is getting a plane, and he’s headed here. There was only one seat left, so she’s getting on the next available flight.”
“Did you call them?”
“I did,” Ali interjects. “I thought they should now, so I called Mary.”
My eyes sting once again. “Thank you,” I tell her with sincerity.
“Thank you, Alison.” Marc turns around to face her as they hold eye contact with one another, apologies floating in the space between them.
“Bertoli, can I talk to my brother alone real quick?”
“Of course.” She stands from her seat, wiping at her face. “I’ll go find you guys some coffee.”
Once Ali is out of earshot, I bend over, resting my elbows on my knees, keeping my gaze locked on the ground as Marc takes the seat across from me.
I inhale a deep labored breath.
“I got called up.”
“What?” Marc asks in shock. “When?”
“Right after the game, as soon as I walked off the ice. That’s why I didn’t answer Logan’s texts. I wanted to tell her in person. I should’ve just answered her. I should’ve told her to meet me at the dorms instead of going to that fucking bar.”
“Dallas?”
I can’t get words out, so I just nod in agreement.
“EJ,” Marc begins, wanting to be excited for me, but we both know there’s not much joy to be shared today. “You fucking did it, man. This is huge. You’re in the NHL.”
