Page 163 of Staying Selfless


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I quickly stand from the ground, wiping at my face, trying to hide the aftermath of my breakdown.

“One sec!” I call out.

I do a quick mirror check, cleaning up my eyes, but there’s not much I can do, so I take a deep breath before opening my door.

“Ready.” I smile at Marc, ushering us into the hall.

“Are you okay?” Marc asks as I blow past him.

“Yep.”

Marc grabs me by the arm, turning me to face him. “What’s wrong?”

His eyes bore into mine as he tries to read me. My bottom lip begins to quiver, seeing my best friend’s face full of concern, causing the tears well up once again.

“Logan,” he softly says, pulling me into his chest. He wraps his arms around my shoulders, holding onto me. I can’t help but release my emotions and feel them all now that Marc has me in his grasp, but I’m trying to be as quiet as possible because we’re in the hallway, in the middle of our dorms.

He pulls me back into my room, closing my door behind us. He wraps me up again and lets me cry into his chest as I tug at his shirt, balling it in my fists, trying to relieve the pressure sitting on my chest.

“I’ve got you,” he reminds me, allowing me to cry into him. “What’s going on?” He runs a gentle hand the length of my back, trying to calm me down.

I can’t answer with words. The only sounds I can make are gasps of air as I try to collect myself and my thoughts. But it’s no use, the one thing I’ve feared more than anything else in life is going to happen.

“Logan, talk to me,” Marc pleads, stroking my hair.

Finally, he pulls away to look at me, both of his hands cupping my face, but all I can see when I look at him is a carefree twenty-three-year-old. The same as Eli. The same as I was until just a few hours ago. But when I tell Eli that I’m pregnant, everything will change. Our lives are no longer just ours. There’s nothing carefree about the turn our lives are about to take.

Is Marc going to be mad at me? Is he going to resent me for tying Eli down this way so young? I didn’t mean to.

I back away from my best friend until my shoulder blades hit the wall. I give Marc one last longing look, trying to remember his face before everything changes, before our worlds flip upside down. I bite down on my lower lip to stop it from shaking before I suck in a much-needed breath.

“I’m pregnant,” I finally say the words aloud for the first time.

His eyes widen, and his brows shoot up, but that’s the only movement on his face as he asks, “You’re pregnant?”

I can’t look at him. I can’t watch the disappointment sweep across his face once the realization hits him, so I cover mine with both my hands.

“You’re pregnant,” Marc repeats. This time, there’s no question behind his statement.

I peek between my fingers to look at him, not able to place his tone. Is he shocked? Sad? Angry? I can’t tell.

“Holy shit. Logan, you’re pregnant!” he shouts, his expression bursting at the seams with excitement. He bounds over to me in one quick stride before wrapping his arms around me, lifting me off the ground, and spinning me around.

“I’m going to be an uncle!” he exclaims. “You’re going to make me an uncle!”

He puts me back on my feet once again before cupping my face, forcing me to look at him.

“Logan, you’re going to be a mom.” He wears the proudest grin I’ve ever seen, his brown eyes shiny and glossed over. “You’re going to be a mom,” he repeats, his voice as soft as a feather.

I know Marc is telling me this repeatedly because he’s happy, clearly, but I’m not there. I’m freaking out. So, it’s no surprise when I drop my head in his hands and slide down to the ground, my back to the wall.

Figuratively and literally, my back is to the wall. The one thing I was so adamantly against is now about to be my future, whether I like it or not, and now that my back is to the wall, I’m crumbling.

“Hey,” Marc says soothingly as he sinks to the floor with me. He sits facing me, both our knees bent and his legs sandwiching mine.

“I’m scared, Marc,” I squeak out. “I can’t do this.”

“Logan.” He grabs my hands, but still, I refuse to look at him. “You are going to be the best mom. You can absolutely do this.”

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