Page 78 of Becoming Selfish


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“And he wasn’t with you at the hospital when your mom died?”

She shakes her head but stays silent.

“I fucking hate this guy,” I tell her as my blood begins to boil. I wish he were here so I could take my anger out on him. He deserves a good ass-kicking for what he did to her.

Exhaling, I try to calm myself down. “But I’m also glad that he’s such a piece of shit. We might not be here right now if he wasn’t.” I lean over and kiss Logan on the lips, then the cheek, then the collarbone before pulling away.

“So it doesn’t bother you?” she asks. “That I’m all innocent and inexperienced.”

“Logan, you’re far from innocent. Sexually inexperienced, maybe. But, innocent? Your innocence was taking away the second you had to say goodbye to your dad so young, and then your mom. You’ve seen more of the shitty parts of life than most people ever will. And the inexperienced part I’m not worried about.” I shake my head. “I’m a fantastic teacher.” A sly smirk forms on my lips.

She laughs at my cockiness. “It really doesn’t bother you that I haven’t had sex yet?” I can tell she’s not entirely convinced, and I get it. I have plenty of experience, but I couldn’t care less that she hasn’t. Honestly, I feel relieved that no man has ever been inside of her. She’s going to be mine and only mine.

“No, Logan, it doesn’t bother me. If anything, it’s a fucking turn-on.”

“What?” she asks, eyes wide.

“The fact that I get to go where no man has ever gone before...I’m getting hard just thinking about it,” I add, only somewhat joking as I press my package against her.

“Eli!” She playfully swats my arm. Her expression half mortified, half amused.

“I’m just playing. But no, I promise you it doesn’t bother me, even in the slightest. I’m excited that I’ll get to be your first.”

“Who says you’re going to be my first?” Logan asks, giving me a smug look. She knows damn well that I will be.

“You’re really over there trying to convince yourself that I’m not? Baby, you know there’s no stopping this.” I motion a finger between us before turning her onto her back and hovering over her.

“But only when you’re ready. I’ll wait as long as it takes,” I add with sincerity as I look down at Logan and gently kiss her lips.

We’ve been lying here in bed, facing each other, with our eyes closed for a while now. If it weren’t for Logan’s fingertips, gently stroking my lower back, under my shirt, I would think she was asleep. I’m so content in bed with her that I would probably be asleep already if it weren’t for her tits being pushed against my chest, distracting me.

“Logan?” I whisper with my eyes still closed, and my voice raspy. I gently stroke her hair and graze my thumb across her cheekbone.

“Mmm,” she hums in acknowledgment, too tired to speak real words.

“I know we’ve had an emotionally draining night, and I’m trying to be respectful, so I’m going to need you to put a shirt on for me so I can do that.” I open my eyes to get one last glimpse at her perfect tits pressed up against me, spilling out of her bra.

“What if I don’t want you to be respectful?” she asks, her eyes still closed as my dick twitches at her words.

“What did you just say?” I lift myself to hover over her. She spreads her legs for me, allowing me to press myself down on her. My eyes hood over and my mouth gapes, looking down at her flawless body pinned beneath me.

“You heard me,” she says as she continues to graze her fingers up my back, squeezing when she gets to my shoulder blades. Her pupils are dilated, and I can feel myself hardening already.

“What do you want me to do, baby?” I ask in a low husky tone as I gently rock my hips into her. She arches her back from the sensation, and I almost explode at the sight.

“Whatever you want to do,” she whispers, looking into my eyes as her breathing accelerates.

“Don’t say that.” I shake my head, trying to push back the thoughts of all the dirty things I want to do to her right now. I know she’s not ready to go there tonight, and I don’t want her to feel pressured in any way.

“I need some guidelines here,” I tell her in a breathy voice as I lean down and start to kiss and nibble at her neck, my hips continuing to rock into her.

She drops her head back, giving me better access to her neck and collarbone. “I don’t want to give you guidelines.”

So, she’s trying to kill me tonight. Noted.

Her silky-smooth legs are on either side of me, hugging me, as I run one of my hands down the length of her soft thigh and squeeze her plump ass.

“Tell me when...” I kiss her exposed chest. “You want...” I drag my lips up her neck. “Me to stop,” I whisper into her ear. I lean back to look into her eyes as I brush a stray hair away from her face. “I mean it, okay? You set the pace.”

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