Page 58 of Becoming Selfish


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The stairs are only a few feet away as I barge through the crowd when I hear someone say, “Where do you think you’re going, kid?”

There is no way to get out of this now. I sigh in defeat as I turn around to give my old mentor a hug. “Jay, what’s up, man?” I swing my arm around his back for a quick embrace.

“Not much, just waiting for your scrawny ass to get here and have a drink with me,” he says as he playfully punches me in the shoulder.

“I haven’t been scrawny since my freshman year, and we both know it.”

“Hey, I heard you got named Captain today, man. Congrats.” He lifts his drink to me in a cheers motion before taking a chug from the cup.

“Thanks, man. But it’s not that big of a deal. I’ve been Captain for the last three years.” I glance up towards the stairs, wishing I would’ve made it up there before getting recognized.

“Well, it’s a big deal every year, so come have a celebratory drink with me.” He nods towards the kitchen. “It’s not every day that U of M’s greatest hockey player of all time comes back to town,” he teases, referring to himself.

“Pfft. You know I took that title a long time ago, right?”

“Mmm-hmm. We still have to see about that.” He finishes his drink. “You get called up to the NHL, and I’ll proudly hand over my title,” he says, causing my anxiety to seep through again.

Since I met Logan a couple of weeks ago, the unease I feel about my unknown future has decreased. She’s been a distraction for me in both good and bad ways, but without her here to pull my thoughts in a different direction, suddenly, all I can think about is the pressure sitting on my chest caused by Jay’s words.

“C’mon, let’s grab a drink,” Jay insists as he starts towards the kitchen.

“I can’t, man. I have plans.”

He stops in his tracks, turning back to face me. “What plans? Cancel them,” he states as if my course of action should be obvious.

“I can’t. It’s for a school project.”

“Absolutely not.” He shakes his head at me. “Since when do you give a shit about school, especially on a Friday night?”

“Since now.” I shrug, trying to stand firm against him.

“Is there a chick involved? You trying to get laid tonight? Just have her come here.”

“No, it’s nothing like that,” I quickly tell him, shaking my head. Even though there is a girl involved, there’s absolutely no way in hell that I’m letting Jay near Logan tonight. I don’t need him to know about her yet. He’ll be the first to remind me that I don’t need any distractions outside of hockey—right before he tries to sleep with her.

“Well, then I’m sorry, kid, but you’re staying,” he says with finality, but I don’t budge.

He pauses before changing his tactic. “At least stay and have one drink with me. I haven’t seen you for months, Maddison,” he pleads with a softer, less demanding edge.

I don’t know if it’s the pressure I feel to fulfill this status quo of being who everyone thinks I am, or if I just feel bad leaving Jay hanging that causes me to agree.

“Fine.” I sigh. “One drink. Then I have to go.” I’ve always had a hard time saying no to Jay, and apparently tonight is no exception.

“Cam!” Jay shouts to him over the crowd causing my teammate to hurry over like a dog being called to their owner. “Take Maddison’s phone and keys until he has a drink with me. He doesn’t need them.” Jay keeps his stare on me, testing me.

“Jay, no. I said I’d stay for one.” I roll my eyes at his antics. He’s being ridiculous now.

“Yeah, well, let’s just make sure you keep that promise.” He shrugs. “Cam.” Jay nods for him to take my belongings.

“Sorry, Maddison,” Cam apologizes with plenty of guilt and fear in his eyes. If there is one person he’s more intimidated by than me, it’s Jay.

I sigh in defeat, knowing there’s no use in fighting it. Jay’s not going to let this go until he gets his way. He never does. I may as well get it over with now.

“Let me just send a quick text,” I tell them both as I pull my phone out and type a message to Logan.

E: Hi. I’m running a little late, but I’ll be there soon.

I had planned to be at Logan’s by nine, and it’s only eight-thirty now. I should be able to make it there in an hour. Thirty minutes late isn’t too bad.

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