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“And becoming your dad is the best thing that’s ever happened to me,” he says, looking at me with sincerity.
I give him an apologetic smile, knowing that he does love being my dad, even if the circumstances that caused that to happen were devastating for him.
“She reminds me of her, you know,” my dad says, changing the subject.
“Hmm?”
“Logan. She reminds me of your mom, my sister.” He takes swig from his crystal glass.
“Really?” I ask, turning my head in his direction. I’ve never really thought about it before, but from all the stories my dad has told me about my mom, they really do line up with the kind of person Logan is.
“Oh yeah. Elizabeth had that soft and strong thing going too. Tough as nails, but sweet as could be. Kept my head on straight, that’s for sure.”
“Yeah, that sounds like Logan.” I can’t help but smile.
“I’m really proud of the man you’ve become, EJ. Your mom would be too.”
“Thanks, Dad.”
“But I do need to talk to you about something.” His tone completely shifts from sentimental to serious.
“Okay?”
“I just want you to try to be more careful with how you talk about leaving for hockey when Logan is around. I saw the way her face fell at dinner when you mentioned leaving as soon as you got called up.”
“Logan knows I’m leaving at some point,” I casually tell him with a shrug. “But that’s not going to change anything between us.”
“Is it not? What’s going to happen when you go? Are you going to do long-distance?”
“I don’t know.” Suddenly, I feel a bit flustered. “She’ll probably come with me wherever I end up playing, I would assume. She’s not going to want to be away from me, in the same way I don’t want to be away from her.”
“Have you talked about this with her? Does she know that’s what you’re planning for? She still has another year and a half of grad school, and from what I know of her already, she’s not going to want to give that up.”
His questions don’t have answers, and he knows they don’t. They’re asked in a way that they’re not actually questions, but instead, they’re things he wants me to think about.
“Well, then I guess we’ll do long distance, I don’t know.” My voice begins to rise frantically. “What are you saying? That I have to choose between her and hockey?” I ask with disbelief.
“Absolutely not,” he quickly states, shaking his head. “Quite the opposite, actually. I just want to make sure you’re aware that there are two of you now. When you’re making decisions, it’s not just you anymore, EJ. You don’t get to be selfish here. Not if you’re thinking about a future with her the way I assume that you are.”
I don’t know what to say to him right now. I’m a little overwhelmed here. I haven’t put too much thought into the logistics of Logan and I being together, just that I know we will be. I guess I assumed that she would want to come with me, knowing this is my life-long dream. She has to know that we will be together no matter what, in the same way that I do.
My dad sits forward, resting his elbows on his knees, keeping his gaze on the fire in front of us. “Look, son, I was once in Logan’s shoes. My sister was the only family I had, and when I lost her, I had never felt so alone in my life. I thanked god every day for you because you’re what kept me going, but it wasn’t until I met Mary that I felt like myself again. Like I belonged somewhere, with someone. I would assume that Logan probably feels similarly, so just be aware of how you speak about leaving. She’s lost everyone in her life. I don’t want her thinking she’s losing you too just because you’re going to play professional hockey somewhere.” His eyes are glossed over but full of sincerity.
This man is a fucking sap when it comes to his family. The same way I am, I guess.
“I knew you had fucking soft spot for her,” I tease, lightening the mood.
“Oh, the softest,” he laughs.
But because he has me alone right now, which doesn’t happen all that often anymore, he continues with all the sweet and sentimental shit.
“I know Mary and I are big fans of hers, and maybe we’re a little over the top.” He pauses. “Mary more so than me, of course.”
“Of course.” I playfully roll my eyes.
“But it’s not just because we like her, which we do, but it’s because we like the man you are when you’re with her. She really does bring out the best in you. You’re a completely different guy than you were three months ago.”
Well, fuck. Now I’m the one who’s about to get all sentimental here. Anything to do with my family or Logan will get to me. But, the combination of the two with my dad telling me just how much he likes my girl is about to really fuck me up emotionally.
