Page 12 of Becoming Selfish


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Okay, he’s being overly sensitive about her. “Wait, are you into her?” I ask, finding myself hoping that he says no.

“Dude, no. It’s not like that. I probably never mentioned that she was a girl because I don’t think of her in that way. She’s just my friend.” He pauses. “But I am protective of her. She’s been through a lot, and I don’t want you messing with her the way you do with every other girl on campus.”

She’s been through a lot. What does that mean? Mess with her like every other girl on campus? Is that how my brother sees me?

“Is that really how you think of me, man?”

He sighs. “No, you know what I mean.” He gives me an apologetic look. “I know you’re not looking for anything more than a hookup, and that’s fine. I honestly couldn’t give a shit what you do with any other chick—more power to you. But Logan is not like the girls you’re used to. She’s cool, and she’s my friend, and she’s already dealt with too much bullshit in her life. I convinced her to move here so she could have a fresh start, and I don’t want the first thing that happens to her here is my own brother breaking her heart.” He takes a deep breath and downs the rest of his beer, giving me a second to process what he said.

It’s clear how much he cares for her, and as much as I don’t want to agree with him, I know he’s right. I’m not looking for anything more than a hookup, and if he’s this adamant about me staying away from her, then I will. His friendship is way more important than some random girl, regardless of how intriguing she is.

“You’re right,” I tell him, nodding my head. “I’ll stay away from her.”

He rolls his eyes at me. “You don’t have to stay away from her, EJ. You can still be her friend. She’s great and one of my favorite people, so I know you’ll like her too.”

Little does he know that completely staying away from her is my only guarantee to keep my promise of not hooking up with her.

“Anyway,” he changes the subject. “Have you seen Lauren? I was hoping to talk to her at some point tonight.”

“Nope,” I respond, keeping it as short as possible. I can’t stand that girl, and I don’t want my brother going near her again.

“EJ...” he drags out my name, insinuating that I’m lying to him. Which I am.

I sigh in defeat. “Yeah, I saw her a little bit ago. She was on the back deck with some of the guys from the team.”

“Thanks, man. I’ll catch you later.” He pats me on the shoulder before heading towards the back door of the house.

Chapter 10

Eli

I spend the next couple of hours working the room and talking to a bunch of people I don’t give a shit about. I haven’t seen Marc since he left me to find his ex, and I haven’t spotted Logan since she left the kitchen to play beer pong. I’ve decided to stick to my plan of not drinking tonight, and it’s making this stage of the party harder to get through sober, since everyone is pretty drunk and not making much sense. Sometimes I wonder why I even throw these parties when I don’t like the majority of the people who show up anyway, but I guess I do it because it’s what people expect me to do.

It’s late, and I have to be up early for training tomorrow, so I should go upstairs and get some sleep. Well, at least try to get some sleep. Over the last couple of hours, people have either reminded me that it’s my last season this year or asked if I’ve heard of any teams looking to call me up to the NHL for their season. Both of which have caused the anxiety I’ve been trying to avoid feeling all night to seep in.

As I make my way through the living room to get to the stairs, I hear yelling from the far side of the room where the beer pong table is. It’s not actually yelling, I realize, but extremely loud cheering. Looking over, I find that Logan and Ali are playing. Have they been playing this whole time? I head towards them to see who their opponents are, only to discover it’s Cam and fucking Patrick. I involuntarily roll my eyes.

There’s a crowd that’s gathered, watching the game. I stay hidden towards the back but, because of my height, I can see just fine. Standing a ways behind Cam, my sightline is perfect to see everything Logan does. She tosses her hair over her shoulder, perfectly lines her elbow up with the table, and prepares to launch the ball across it.

She has a drink in her other hand, from which she takes a sip. She must have decided to switch to something harder than water, but I don’t care that she’s drinking; I just hope no one forced her to. Namely, Patrick.

“Six, Patty! You’re about to lose six times in a row!” someone in the crowd yells.

Have the girls won five times already? That’s fucking awesome. Scanning the players, I notice that Logan doesn’t seem drunk at all, Ali appears to be about the same level of buzzed as she was when I saw her in the kitchen, and both boys look pretty hammered.

“Fuck! I know! Cali has been hustling us this whole time!” Patrick yells back to the crowd.

Did he just call Logan, ‘Cali’? I hate that. Why does he have a nickname for her already? He doesn’t even know her. I realize that he’s spent more time with her than I have because they’ve been playing this game for so long, but fuck, he doesn’t know her.

Scanning the table, the girls still have seven cups sitting in front of them, whereas the boys have only one. Logan can win it on this shot.

“It’s not my fault that you’re both terrible at this game!” Logan yells back to him, and it makes me smile. She seems tough; I like that.

As the last word leaves her mouth, she shoots the ball across the table, and it lands perfectly in the final cup. The crowd drunkenly cheers. A couple of people start chanting, “Six! Six! Six!” as Logan puts her cup down and takes a bow. She and Ali are both laughing, and she looks happy. It makes me smile.

This feels weird. Outside of my family, I’ve never cared if someone else was happy. But I think back to what Marc said about her having a hard life, whatever that means, and I’m glad that she’s happy at this moment.

“One more! C’mon!” Cam drunkenly yells out, holding onto the table just to keep himself upright. There’s no way he could handle losing another game.

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