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“You heard me,” Ande replied. “That’s how she truly feels—she has nothing else to lose. That’s why she went into flying helicopters. That’s why she learned to fly commercial jets. That’s why she goes and jumps out of planes every Saturday for fun. That’s why, when you can’t ever find her, she’s floating the river by herself. She literally doesn’t care. There’s not a single thing she could do to hurt herself that would hurt worse than losing you.”
I looked down at my feet, studying the way my boots looked like they could use a good polish.
“It was never my intention to let her go, Ande,” I told her.
She knew this.
They all knew this.
The only one not to get the memo was Shayne.
“I know.” She spoke barely above a whisper. “But you just have to understand, whatever you’re doing with her, it needs to be real. It needs to be the best damn thing she’s ever experienced, because if she has to go through losing you again, I’m not sure that I won’t have to learn to live without her, too. It was hard enough losing Addison. I can’t lose them both.”
I stiffened my spine and said, rather grumbly, “She won’t get hurt. I won’t hurt her again. I’ll be right here, for the rest of always, and make sure that she never questions me and my motives ever again. I won’t let her go. I won’t live without her. I won’t allow myself to ruin this a second time. I barely survived the last time, too.”
Ande studied my face for a few long seconds before she said, “So, a baby?”
My heart physically ached. “No. No baby. Probably never a baby.” I hesitated. “We don’t want anyone to know. At least not yet. She’s still processing everything, and it’s a lot to process.”
“You know she won’t be able to keep it a secret for long, right? I mean, our family is so nosy,” she asked as the elevator doors opened and I headed in the opposite direction of her. “I’m her best friend! She even told me about your penis size!”
That last part was announced to half the ER waiting room.
With a shake of my head, I headed to my cruiser, and then the station.
I called Boseman on the way, and by the time I arrived in the interrogation room, Costas was sitting there waiting for me.
He waited for me to take a seat before saying, “It’s about fuckin’ time, jackass. I’ve been waiting on you to get here forever. How’s my sister?”
I took a seat, leaned back in the chair, and said, “She’ll be a lot better if she’s not implicated in the operation you were running out of her house.”
The derision in my voice penetrated his cool, calm, and collected features.
“I wouldn’t have had to do it out of the fuckin’ house had you gotten your shit together sooner!” he snarled. “You had your own brother in my operation. He was there for a frickin’ year. I tried everything to get him to narc on me, and there you were, watching and observing. Jesus Christ, y’all are slow.”
I shook my head to try to clear it. “What are you trying to say?”
“I’m saying that I had to nearly start selling pussy to get you to pay attention for real.” He rolled his eyes. “And tell your brother he can’t hide that white fuckin’ hair. It’s easy to spot him when his hair grows like a goddamn weed.”
I didn’t reply to that, unsure what I was supposed to say.
Gable had been made, and Costas hadn’t killed him?
What the hell was going on right now?
I looked over at the two-way glass, wondering if I was hearing this correctly.
Was he saying what I thought he was saying?
“How about you spell it out for me, Costas,” I suggested when I turned back to him.
“You know it’s not easy to just get out, right?” he asked.
I felt my insides freeze at his words. “Yes.”
“Well, I’ve been trying to get out for years,” he grumbled. “But nobody fuckin’ lets you go. Just when I start to pull away, I’m dragged right back in. And I decided, the easiest way to deal with this was to get arrested. That way I’m not killed when I do go. Shayne’s not in danger. Short of goddamn murder, I’ve been trying to get you to seal the deal for years.”
Seal the deal.
