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Not when my Nonna died, and he wasn’t there.
Literally, nothing short of mass destruction would ever be big enough for me to stop feeling what I felt for Quinn James Carter.
I forced myself to stop looking at Quinn, who’d returned his attention back to the screen, and looked on with him.
Everything I was seeing looked so unreal.
Like it was happening to someone that wasn’t me.
“This area right here,” she said softly, apologetically, “was the baby.”
Quinn’s shoulders stiffened and he sat up straighter.
I rolled my lips over my teeth and bit down and I listened to her thoughts on everything.
When she was done, she hung the wand up, then stood to gather some paper towels.
Handing those to me, she said, “Any questions?”
“When can she have the surgery?” he pushed.
I looked down at my lap.
As if that was the most important thing right now.
I mean, his best friend had just tried to kill me, for Christ’s sake.
Yet, I hung on the doctor’s words.
I listened intently, taking in every single syllable that came out of her mouth.
“I mean,” she looked toward me. “Pending insurance, we could do it as early as necessary. I’d have to check my schedule with my office. Let me get back there, and I’ll let my assistant know that we need to talk numbers and dates. We’ll run her insurance and we’ll go from there.”
I closed my eyes and allowed my head to fall back on the pillow.
Though I couldn’t suffer physical pain, emotional pain was another story.
Just the thought of him wanting this so badly made me want to give him everything.
I wanted to have his children.
I wanted to be the woman he cared about the most in this world.
I wanted it all with him, yet…
Should I believe his words from earlier?
Should I allow him to worm his way back in?
But would having this surgery really change anything?
I mean, sure, kids hadn’t been on my radar at this particular moment in time, but that didn’t mean I didn’t want them at some point in my life.
Thoughts and emotions swirled through my brain as Quinn and Dr. Marroni talked.
My eyes grew heavy, and I allowed the exhaustion to pull me under.
When I next woke, it was to find Quinn in the chair next to my bed, staring blankly out of the hospital window.
