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twenty one
Sofia
God, his tears are killing me. This is what I needed to see—his heartbreak, his truth. I needed to see his love for me, to see if his feelings were real, for me to decide anything regarding us. I needed to know if I was everything to him, and if he was just being delusional all those years ago, trying to push me away and rebel against our father's wishes, not wanting to own his feelings, not wanting to let go of his bachelor lifestyle. While I was pissed and hurt about the arrangement and having been lied to for years, I still consider that he was basically forced, too, he just had more knowledge about our union.
Can I forgive him for the hurt and pain? I don't know, but do I want to try? Again, I need to find out. Maybe we need counseling, too, but if we do, is that me being a pushover and too easily forgiving a man I ran away from? Gah, I'm so confused; he always makes me feel this way. A picture of him and Candice goes through my head again, and I blink to get rid of it. This is my problem; I will always see them together, and she still works for him and his dad. No, I don't think we could make it work, I'd just punish him every day without even meaning to. We're better off as co-parents, as much as it hurts to admit.
I pull away, staying in his embrace because he won't let me go. I turn to look at Mattia who is scowling at me, and I smirk back. My mother and Maria are still crying uncontrollably, and I see my father struggling to keep control while holding my mother. Dimitri holds Alexandr while Maria wraps her arms around her middle, her face covered in tears.
I raise the gun in my hand. I hear my mother's gasp as my father pales. Dimitri lets go of Alexandr, and they both step toward me.
Damian's hold tightens on my waist, and he whispers, "What are you doing, moya lyubov?" My love. Surprisingly, my heart skips a beat.
I say loud enough for everyone to hear, "Slaying my demons to keep our daughter safe." I hear a couple of sharp breaths; they know what I'm about to do, and just as Damian raises his hand to grab the gun. Mattia goes running to attack me, but I take the shot, hitting him right between his eyes. His body flops down on the floor.
I state in a cold voice, looking at his lifeless body, "For Mila."
I lower my gun, put the lock on, and place it on the table beside me. I sit down and take a deep breath, closing my eyes.
Free, I'm finally free.
I turn to look at everyone in the room. Maria locks eyes with me, and I see shock, sorrow, and guilt in them. It hurts so much that I have to look at Dimitri and Alexandr instead. They both stare at me in shock, too, unable to believe I killed someone, realizing I'm not the same girl anymore. Then I look at my parents. My father is frozen in place, arms wrapped around my mother, who has tears running down her face.
Damian squeezes my waist to get my attention. I look into his eyes, knowing I can't show him any emotion about how I'm feeling right now. I can feel the adrenaline crashing down, knowing I'm close to falling apart.
Coldly, I state, "You need to sign the paperwork, then we can meet somewhere public. Mila keeps asking when she will meet you. Bring Alexandr, too, she adores him." I lean on my tiptoes and kiss his cheek, then whisper, "Let my lawyer know when you've signed the divorce papers, okay? The sooner, the better for everyone."
I hear several gasps, so I know they must have heard me. I turn out of his hold that grew tighter with my parting words, grab my gun, place it back in my shorts, and walk out of the penthouse, feeling all their eyes on my back. I hear Damian roar, then things crashing behind me, but I don't look back. There isn’t much time before I collapse. It doesn't matter how much I missed him or how much I loved him, he still strayed and broke me, and he still lied to me. It's not doable anymore; I'm not the naïve girl with hearts in her eyes like I used to be.
Once I get to the lobby, I say goodbye to Antonio and Ilya with a peck on each of their cheeks, then head to my car. Once I'm inside, my hands start to shake; the adrenaline is fading quicker than I thought it would, and I quickly put the car in drive and head home. Once I pull up to the apartment complex, I head to the second floor in a hurry. As soon as the door's unlocked, April is attacking me in a big hug, and I hug her back tighter.
"Are you okay? Greg's gone back to my apartment for the night. I can stay with you," she says, and I give her a warm smile.
"I'm doing okay; he's finally gone. I took care of my nightmare." I hug her tighter, telling her to go home to Greg.
"Are you sure?" she asks sternly, and I chuckle, nodding. She kisses my cheek, then heads home before I lock up behind her.
I turn everything off, then pop my head in Mila's room. She’s dead to the world. I go to my room for some clothes, rummage through my drawers, and find Damian's old black V neck T-shirt, and grab it. I give it a sniff, and it still smells like him. I take it to the bathroom with me and jump in the shower. I hang my head under the water as the tears start to flow.
I'm a murderer.
I break and fall apart, falling to the shower floor as sobs wrack my body. I feel like I can't breathe. I don't know how long I stay on the floor sobbing, but the water has gone cold. I realize I'm shivering, but I just can't move.
Suddenly, warm arms wrap around my body, causing me to jump in fear.
"Shhh, malyshka, you are safe. I have you," my husband states in a low whisper.
I break all over again, tears flowing hard and fast. He tightens his hold on my trembling body. I have no idea how he got in. Still, when he picks me up and sits me on the bathroom counter, standing in between my legs and curling his body around mine, I don't even question it. I just hold him tight, my arms wrapping around his naked body and my head on his chest, his heartbeat soothing me. He holds me for what feels like hours, stroking his hand through my hair, telling me everything will be alright.
Once I calm down, Damian grabs a towel and dries me, then himself. He puts on his boxer shorts, then grabs the t-shirt I laid on the counter. He looks at it for a couple of seconds, tears shining in his eyes, then turns to me and places it over my head, helping me get dressed. He then lifts me up and carries me into bed before climbing in next to me, pulling my body close.
"Shh, malyshka, close your eyes and get some sleep. I'll keep the bad dreams away, I promise." Then he places a few kisses on my head, and I slowly drop off to sleep with my head on his chest and his hand stroking through my hair.
Until the nightmares come.
twenty two
Damian
