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"Dinner's ready, Mila. Go wash your hands, malyshka." They both look at me. Mila nods, and then goes to the bathroom while Alexandr looks at me in surprise.
"What?" I ask.
He shakes his head, whispering, "You speak Russian to her?"
I give him a quizzical look. "Well yeah, how else will she learn?" I chuckle a little, then turn to walk into the kitchen to get the drinks. When I look back quickly, he’s just sitting there, mouth hanging open, and I chuckle again as Mila comes running in.
"Come, dyadya, food!" He snaps out of it and comes to the table.
Dinner is nice; Alexandr helps Mila with her macaroni, wiping her up throughout, and we laugh a lot. He tells me about his arranged marriage with Phoebe, how much he's fallen for her, how amazing she is, and how he can't wait for me to meet her. He thinks we'll be fast friends, and my heart bursts with joy for him. He even shows me pictures of her; she's beautiful, with white-blond hair and green eyes.
It is nice to catch up and even nicer when he helps me clean up the kitchen afterward. Once everything's put away, he stands in the bathroom doorway as I give Mila a bath and help her sing “Row, Row Your Boat” in Russian, which Alexandr gets a kick out of, especially when she switches to Italian, and then English. She asks if he can read to her, so I tuck her in, kiss her, and watch for a couple of minutes as he situates himself on her bed, letting her snuggle him. He reads to her. I'm a little emotional, so I go to the living room and clean up, waiting for him, knowing he wants to talk. Nausea is creeping up on me. I knew this would happen sooner or later, but I preferred the latter. I thought I had years yet. I grab my phone and quickly email the lawyer I found at Barnes & Co. in town when I decided to stay here.
Mr. Townsend had already drawn up the papers for me, which basically state that once signed, no one can force Mila into an arranged marriage unless it was solely her idea. I just need Damian to sign it, and if he wants, he can see her once a month to start with. I also need to file for divorce. It doesn't matter how much I love and miss him, or how much I'm bound to him. I can't ever trust him again.
Footsteps snap me out of my thoughts as Alexandr walks around the corner.
"Let's talk, mladshaya sestra." He sits down. I sit near him and angle my body, facing him. "I know this isn't what you wanted to do, what you wanted to discuss so early on in her life, maybe hoping she was in love or had a career before she met us all, but I need to know why. Why now? Why tell her about her family at such a young age? Why not wait until she was older if you weren't planning to tell us you had a daughter with Damian?"
I feel my heartbeat in my throat. So he figured it out quite quickly; he knew I wanted her to have a future and not end up having the same fate as me. I sigh, knowing I may as well state the truth.
I look him in the eyes and say, "She will always know who she is, her background, her heritage, but more importantly, her family, and when she is older, she can decide what she wants to do if she wants contact. I was not going to stop her from wanting to find her family; I was only going to protect her from the fate I had to endure, only to feel heartbroken and lost when the truth was revealed.
I loved him, Alexandr. I loved him with my whole heart, and he betrayed me in the worst way, not only by deceiving me and making me believe it was love but by cheating on me, with not only women who collaborated with him and your father but also my cousin. He humiliated me. I was walking around thinking I finally had it all despite how shitty my home life was, when all along I looked like an idiot. And to top it off, my father basically sold me off for an alliance," I say angrily, still bitter over everything. "Initially, I wasn't going to leave; I was going to stop the wedding and let him be a weekend dad. I had it all planned in my head, but when I had the ultrasound the day before the wedding…. I thought I was only a few weeks along, but I wasn't. I was four months pregnant, and my OB said she could tell me the sex, so I decided to find out." I sigh. "When she said I was having a little girl, I panicked. I couldn't breathe at the thought of her being used like I was, cheated on not only by her future husband but also lied to by her family. Yes, he destroyed me, but I wasn't going to let him or any of you destroy her or her dreams."
Alexandr looks at me with sad, understanding eyes and says, "He's been punishing himself for years, Sofia. If you can't forgive him, which I can understand if you can't, can you at least think about meeting him tomorrow to discuss his daughter? I know he doesn't deserve it, but she does, doesn't she? To get to know her family? We don't want to drag you or her from your life here, we just want to talk, please," he begs me.
I sit for a while, thinking, and he lets me, acknowledging that I need to process and decide what is best for my daughter. About half an hour later, after staring at the wall and him letting me, I finally speak.
"Tomorrow, 11 AM, The Tavern restaurant in town. Mila will be at daycare. He has one chance with his daughter, and that's it, but as for him and me, we were over the day he let someone else touch him after we made it official when I was seventeen," I state.
Alexandr nods, giving me a sad smile, understanding my decision, then proceeds to ask several questions about my life and Mila's. He asks to see pictures of me when I was pregnant, as well as ones with Mila growing up. He took two with him, giving me a kiss on the cheek, then a tight hug, saying he'll stop in tomorrow afternoon to see Mila, if I was okay with it.
I told him, "That's fine, just no one else for now, please, Alexandr. I'm not ready for everyone else yet."
He nods solemnly and leaves. I lock up, then climb into bed with Mila, holding her tight in a restless sleep.
I sigh, and then get out of bed to prepare for the day. It has barely begun, and I already feel drained. Shit. I have to see Damian again. A lump forms in my throat, nausea bubbling up my throat as a picture of him with Candice runs through my head, and I run to the bathroom just in time to throw up last night's dinner. Even after all these years, it still affects me as if it were only yesterday.
I wait a couple of minutes before I get up, flush the toilet, then wash my face and brush my teeth. He always makes me feel like this. How am I going to get through this meeting with him? Should I cancel? Gah, Alexandr forgot to give me his number; I bet that was on purpose! I comb my hair, leaving it in waves down my back, then I go to my room and pull on my usual jean shorts and a flowy, white top. My necklace and the rings on it shine in my bedroom mirror. I sigh but leave it on and tuck it into my top.
I go to the kitchen and make Mila's lunch for daycare, and put it in her backpack near the door, then proceed to make her breakfast—French toast, of course—then pour her a glass of milk. I wake her up by placing a dozen kisses on her face, making her wake up with a giggle.
We go to the bathroom, ensuring she uses the potty before I get her dressed. She picks out a pink t-shirt and jean skirt.
"Okay, bambina, let's eat breakfast. Aunty April should be here in a minute." She cheers, and then heads to the table. I go to her room again and clean up, then clean up the living room. By the time I'm done, she's finished her breakfast, so I clean up the table.
There's a knock at the door.
"Honey, I'm home," April singsongs while walking in.
Mila runs to her and greets her with a big hug.
"Hello, princess," April says, then looks at me. "Well, you were wrong; this guy is definitely the one this time, just like I always knew. Greg was awesome. We talked all night, and when we kissed, it was like seeing fireworks, just like I knew it would be. We're going out again tonight," she ends with a squeal, causing Mila to giggle. I give a small smile.
"What's wrong?" She knows me well.
"They found us."
