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My eyes travel down to my dress. It's a Cinderella-esque ball gown. It's the most beautiful dress I've ever worn. I was worried they'd have to take out a bit of fabric around my stomach, but luckily, I managed to squeeze into it.
I'm 16 weeks pregnant. When I first realized I was pregnant, I thought I was only a few weeks along, until I went to my OB yesterday. On my birthday. I wanted to make sure I had an official “yes” before I told Damian, and I wanted to get an ultrasound to make sure the baby was healthy. Before the ultrasound, I had a planned to cancel the wedding and let Damian have visitation rights to the baby. But the ultrasound revealed that I’m having a girl.
That changed everything.
In five months, I will have a baby girl in my arms.
My heart cracks again, and it takes everything I have not to fall apart. I gaze at my face in the mirror, and my dark blue eyes, which usually shine like the Mediterranean Sea, are now dull and lifeless. This should be the happiest day of my life, yet all I feel is anger and sadness.
My mother is standing in the background with Mrs. Volkov, Lilly, my Aunt Emilia, and my cousin, Luna, who's only two years older than me, and a total bitch. She's sulking because I'm marrying before her and because I’m marrying Damian. I know she has a crush on him, and knowing my luck, he probably fucked her, too. She could pass as my sister; we look that much alike, except for her eyes, which are brown like my aunt Emilia's. My aunt stands next to her, looking sexy in her tube yellow dress, showing off her curvier body with pride. I love that woman. I sometimes wish that Luna and I could just switch lives.
I look toward Lilly, who looks like a vision in her Maid of Honor dress. The dress is light blue and hugs her lovely frame. Her brown hair with pink highlights is styled in a half-up/half-down hairdo, a few curls dangling around her face. She looks at me with pride and concern, and I give her a small smile.
My father knocks on the door and pops his head in. His eyes soften when he sees me in my dress for the first time.
"Piccolo Princessa, you look absolutely stunning." He comes up to me and places a small kiss on my forehead. Gosh, my father was my favorite person in the world, and now I can only just stop myself from flinching when he kisses my forehead.
"It's time, sweetheart," he states before looking at my mother, who purses her lips, and then walks out to take her seat.
My aunt comes up to me, kisses my cheek, and mutters, "Sbalorditiva.” She calls me stunning. I may look it, but I don’t feel it.
I close my eyes to stop the tears, muttering, "Grazie, Zia Emilia." I kiss her cheek. I could swear I see disgust when I lean in.
Hmm….
It could be because of how I feel going through with this wedding. My cousin drops her scowl before my father can see her and winks at me. I try hard not to roll my eyes, unlike Lilly, who does roll hers, and I snort.
Lilly gives me a hug and walks out. My father looks at me and bends his elbow for me to take. I take it even though I would rather run from this day and my so-called family, who basically sold me at eight years old. We walk toward the double doors.
My mother and aunt walk side by side down the aisle first, followed by Luna, who is acting as a bridesmaid—which was not my choice..
Lilly, the girl I'm going to miss the world, walks out just before I’m supposed to make my entrance. She turns her head, her eyes glossy, knowing we won't see each other after this because of what I plan to do. Her fiancé is taking her home immediately after the ceremony. He wants her away from the firestorm that will erupt once they realize I'm gone. She winks at me, and I mouth “love you.” She mouths it back, and my heart breaks. She's my Maid of Honor, but I won't be able to be hers when she gets married, like we always planned.
I take a deep breath.
I know I'm next in the procession down the aisle. I feel my heartbeat pounding against my ribcage, and my lungs shriveling up. I squeeze my father's arm, and he looks at me with a smile, thinking it's just nerves. How wrong can he be, though?
After witnessing the love of my life, my best friend, in our home two days ago, a day before my fricking birthday, I haven't been able to sleep more than a couple of hours. My mind keeps going back to the look on Damian's face when he climaxed for someone who wasn't me, and I feel nauseous again. I don't know if it's the pictures in my head from two days ago or the morning sickness. But I can't chicken out; I must do this. I need be strong for me, for my baby, or my plan won't work. If I can’t pull this off, I won't be able to disappear, start over outside of the mafia and Bratva world, away from cheaters and liars, from people who would try to sell my little girl for an alliance, away from turning out like my mother! So, I will grin and bear it for our future—mine and my daughter's.
My father starts forward, and I know it is time to put on the best act of my life!
Showtime!
Damian – Age 24 – Wedding Day
I'm standing at the end of the aisle, with my brother as my best man, my best friend, and my brigadier. Sergi stands next to him, his tux black like ours. His long, blond hair on top is slicked back but short at the sides, combed neatly, while mine is just like my brother’s, messy on top but cut short at the sides.
His green eyes look at me with concern. He knows everything, just like my brother does. I freaked out this morning and broke down, telling them about my guilt for the cheating and the lies, and how I am undeniably in love with my fiancée. They both agreed that I should keep everything to myself and let this marriage be our fresh start. I will not lose her. I'd burn this world to ashes before that happened. I look out into the crowd and see my mother, who sits front and center next to my father, both grinning ridiculously, though my mother already looks like she is tearing up.
Shaking my head, I look behind them and notice Candice and Mindy sitting there.
Shit!
How the fuck did she get in here? She knows she's not supposed to be here. I narrow my eyes at her, and she smirks before licking her lips, looking me up and down. She's trying to make a statement and stake a claim, despite my girl not knowing about her or the others I fucked.
I nudge my brother and dip my head in her direction; his eyes narrow at them. He gets out his phone, and I know he is contacting one of our guards to remove them both.
Five minutes later, they are removed, huffing along the way, and sending glares at me. My dad turns and notices, then looks up at me with disappointment when he realizes what the commotion is about. He knew about my affairs and who I was with, but he thought I'd stopped months ago. I guess he's figured out by the death glares Candice sent me and the fact that I've just had her removed that I've still been sleeping with her. I look into his eyes solemnly, trying to make him see that it won't happen anymore, and that I won't lie or cheat on my wife from now on. He seems to understand the pain and decision in my eyes, and he nods once.
