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When we get to his bike, he asks, "Am I taking you to your dorm?"
I swallow hard and say, "I, uh, promised Momma I'd stop by." Unfortunately, I add in my mind. She wants some money. Apparently, my father used what I'd given them last week for the rent on beer, which means my meagre savings will be gone.
I really need to find another job with higher pay.
Doc nods before lifting his seat and grabbing my helmet, making my stomach flutter.
I'm the only girl who wears it. No one else goes on the back of his bike, not even his sister. I still can’t figure out why he lets me ride; he hasn't explained, and I haven't asked, I'm too scared of the answer.
He helps me put on my helmet, before he climbs on his Harley, the red tank sparkling as the machine moves under his weight. He holds his hand out for me, and I don't hesitate to grab hold of it, and climb on behind him, feeling at home like always.
When I'm sitting behind him, everything fades, and it's just him and me, and that's when I loosen up. I never think, I just wrap my arms around his waist, pressing myself to his back, ensuring there is no space between us. I splay my right hand on his t-shirt-covered abs while my left grips his cut. As usual, he gently rubs his hand over mine where it sits against his stomach. The rumble of his bike vibrates through me as he pulls away from the curb. I lay my head on his back, fantasizing that this is us, that this man is mine.
A girl can dream.
Ten minutes later, he's pulling in front of Momma’s, and I hold in my sigh as I reluctantly push off him and climb off the bike. I take the helmet off and pass it to him, and he gets off, putting it under his seat before looking at me. He crosses his arms over his big chest and raises a brow at me, making me wince.
I hold my hands up. “In my defense, the guy is in four of my classes. I didn't know he was going to do that. People only had nice things to say about him. Plus, Lola was encouraging me to date, so if you want to blame anyone, blame her."
He tilts his head, not happy one bit, and I hate that he hasn't taken his sunglasses off, because I can't read him right now.
I give an 'I'm sorry' smile, making him shake his head. With a sigh, he leans forward and kisses my forehead, lingering as he whispers, "If anything happened to you, Pixie, I'd die. Remember that, yeah?"
I nod and grip his cut to keep him close to me for just a moment, before he pulls back and climbs on the bike, starting it back up. He gives me a half smile and says, "I'll see you Saturday for the club BBQ. Don't be late; I want my rematch."
I smile. "I'll still kick your butt."
He grins, which lights up his whole face, making him breathtaking.
He states, "Not this time. I will be winning my money back."
I laugh, knowing he's full of crap; he always lets me win at poker. With one last look at me, he revs his bike, and then pulls away from the curb. I watch as he speeds away, and loneliness hits, and my heart breaks like half of me is gone. I wish he'd see me, like really see me. I wish he'd understand exactly what I would do for him and what I have done for him.
I wish he loved me back.
Shaking my head, I turn and head inside. When I make it into the living area, I hoped my parents were out so I could leave the money on the side table, but my hopes are dashed when Momma shoves me hard against the wall as soon as the door shuts, making me gasp.
She slaps me across the face then sneers, "What have I told you about those MC men, huh?Huh!"I flinch at her shout as her hand grips my hair tightly, making me gasp in pain as she drags me down the hallway, all while my father glares at the TV.
She shoves me hard into the closet near my room, and my breathing picks up as I try to push past her, but she shoves me harder, causing me to bang my head against the cinderblock wall as she slams the door, locking me into the small space. Panic hits me, my childhood flashing before my eyes, just like every time I asked about the MC.
"You can stay in there for the night, but don't worry, I'll allow you out for your precious college tomorrow. Use this time to think about your actions, you selfish bitch!"
Her footsteps disappear as my tears fall. I try to regulate my breathing as I slide down against the wall, wishing I'd stayed on Doc's bike, wishing he would hold me, wishing I could be his like he's always been mine.
Sobs wrack my body as the urge to run and keep running hits me again. I want to run far away and never come back, but Alex needs me; a clubwhore trapped him, by getting pregnant, and now he has Noah, his son. They need me and I, well, I need Doc.
I squeeze my eyes tight as an image of Doc's eyes hits me, and then an image of the woman hanging off him.
How much more heartbreak can someone take before they shatter completely?
2
Doc – Four Years Later
I side-eye Ken from where I'm standing at the nurse's desk, filling in the discharge papers for my patient, waiting for her to finish her conversation.
She's been working at the hospital for a few years now, and fuck was I happy when Breaker gathered everyone to tell us that. We have lunch together nearly every fucking day we're on same shift together, and I'm struggling to control my feelings.
