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Whether or not she was pregnant with his baby is still to be confirmed, but I was pregnant with his child. I gave birth to our daughter, I cremated her, I tried to kill myself….
And he has no idea.
We have a lot to talk about, a lot of pain to unravel, and whether we can get through it, well, that remains to be seen.
My hurt was still real; his choosing her still destroyed me, and my leaving him destroyed him, his letters prove that.
I shake my head. I don’t know what will happen with him and me, but I know we have much to discuss, and I guess we’ll go from there.
Though he still deserves a knee to the nuts for hurting me the way he did.
“Ken?” I hear Alex say loudly, and I smile. I'm grateful he’s come to drive me back to Texas.
“In the bedroom,” I say call out before I hear his footsteps. He smiles at me when he comes into the room. He’s not wearing his cut, and I have to admit, he looks weird without it. He left it back in Texas, not needing it while driving a cage.
He leans against the doorframe and asks, “Is this the last bag?”
I nod, standing up. “Yeah, but also Layla, too.”
His eyes soften, but he nods before clearing his throat and asking, "Are you going to be okay around Quinn and her pregnancy?”
I smile at him, taking the suitcase to him, and admitting, “I can’t wait to help her through it. I’m okay, Alex, I promise. Do I miss her? Every single day, but I’ve had to come to terms with my loss and pain, otherwise, I wouldn’t be able to do my job. I just have to figure out a way to tell Lucas.”
He flinches at my words, confusing me, and I furrow my brows.
He sighs and says, “I didn’t want to tell you while you were trying to figure things out. I fuck, I feel like I’m stuck in the middle of my cousin and best friend.”
I tilt my head. “I never wanted to put you in the middle, Alex.”
He smiles and admits, “I know, darling. When he hurt you, I had a one-track mind, but when he finally told me the truth, I understood his reasoning and noticed how much he had fallen apart since you left. He loves you so fucking much, Ken, and I wanted to tell you, but then I feel like I’m betraying him if I do tell you, especially when he barely speaks to me, but then you’re going to go home and….” He stops rambling, and my heart pounds hard, worrying hitting me.
Did I push him away too hard that now he’s found someone else?
Alex bites his bottom lip, then rasps, “Doc is gone.”
My lungs freeze in shock.
Gone?
I blink, grabbing Ameilia’s papers. No one has heard from Doc, except for Snake. Crow is mad, Aunt Shelly is struggling to understand why he hasn’t been in contact with anyone other than his prez, the brothers are angry and worried, and I don’t know how to feel. He’s giving me what I asked for, but he’s doing it far from me.
Alex said he tried to convince him not to go, but apparently, he was at his breaking point.
They don’t even know if he’ll return; he’s already been gone a week longer than necessary.
I did that. I hurt him enough for him to leave his family, but doesn’t he understand that he hurt me, too, that I needed to come to terms with why he chose her the way he did, to get my heart and mind up to the same speed.
I hate that he’s not here. I finally got the courage to tell him about Layla, only to find out he’d gone on club business. Everyone welcomed me back with open arms, yet he wasn’t there. The one person I needed to see wasn’t waiting for me, wasn’t fighting for me anymore. Prue was, though, and boy, did she look mad that I was back.
I gave her a lovely smile before being dragged away by Noah and April. Fun times.
I walk back to the bed Amielia was in, give Jackie her daughter's papers, and reassure her, again, when my phone buzzes in my pocket. I wait until Amielia’s gone before checking it.
As I read the text, my breathing picks up.
Quinn: He’s back x
That’s all she said.
