AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“That. Sounds. Perfect!” Vi exclaims at my idea, who has joined us this time at Crystal’s studio. All the kids are hanging out with her husband Corbin, Seth, and the other member of the team and co-owner of the club, Brian. His lovely wife, Clarice, is currently marveling at one of the silver poles, her mouth hanging open as she makes it spin with a push of her finger. Doc is at work, or I’m sure he’d be there soaking in all the uncle time with the guys, since every single one of our children absolutely adore him… just like all us adults do.
“Yeah, sis. He’s really going to be blown away. Don’t you think, Clarice?” Astrid calls over her shoulder from where we’re sitting, legs crisscrossed as we flap them like butterfly wings.
“They fucking spin on their own! All this time, I thought the dancer somehow spun herself around the goddamn pole! My mind… is blown. I am shooketh,” she responds instead—something she’s been repeating since she first walked in and saw the rest of us playing around on the poles. I even managed to hold myself up for a full revolution without falling.
“We’ll take that as a yes,” Astrid says, reaching over to squeeze my knee, and we all laugh.
“Now, the question is… how the hell do I pull it off? It’s a good idea and all, but I feel like I’m setting myself up for failure. I’m basically going to need an entire personality transplant, or I’m going to look stupid,” I confide my worries to the group of women I love most in this world.
Crystal’s strong voice makes me sit up straight, like I’m a kid getting in trouble for slouching. “Oh hell nah, girl. Not on my watch. We have… four days to whip you into shape. And dammit, you will, even if I have to bring out an actual whip to make it happen. You hear me?”
Her eyebrow arches in an extreme angle, making her look terrifying when combined with that look on her normally beautiful face.
“Yes, ma’am,” I squeak, then clear my throat, everyone in the room letting out nervous laughter.
Well, except Clarice. While three of us identify as fully submissive, she is perfectly suited for her role as a switch. And instead of nervous laughter, she finally pulls her attention away from the spinning pole to give us all a wicked grin.
“Yaaas, bish,” she purrs. “Sic her.”
Crystal cackles, scooting to the side to make room in our stretching circle for Clarice, who comes over to plop right next to the intimidating woman. Clearly though, Clarice doesn’t find her threatening at all, instead seeming to have found a kindred spirit. They high-five, and then both of them turn their eyes on me at the exact same moment. It’s utterly chilling, and I gulp unconsciously.
“So what’s the real problem? In order to pull off this surprise, what is the main issue that has you saying you’ll need a whole personality change?” Crystal asks, her tone gentling a little.
I consider her question, and while there’s quite a few things I’ll need to work on, one flaw in particular will be the downfall of the whole present if I can’t overcome it.
“I’m a freezer.” At everyone’s confused look, except for my sister, because she’s always known this about me, I prompt, “You know how we’ve all got that fight-or-flight instinct?” They nod. “Well, there are also two more reactions that aren’t as talked about—freeze and fawn. Freezing is my default mode. When I come face-to-face with something stressful, I have a tendency to… get stuck. I don’t start swinging fists or run away. I’m like a deer caught in headlights. My whole body, including my brain, just shuts down.”
Clarice is nodding before I even finish explaining. “I’ve totally seen this. When I would travel overseas to photograph inside warzones, I saw all three of the responses. It’s actually how Brian and I got so close. He was one of the soldiers who fought like hell. Didn’t freeze. Didn’t run. He got us out of a deadly situation, and with his adrenaline running so high, he didn’t realize he’d been hurt. Badly. I didn’t leave his side, not even after he finally woke up in medical. He’s been stuck with me ever since.”
Vi hums. “Mmm… well, maybe on the downlow. We didn’t even know about you until a few years ago. And he’s been out of the military for almost a decade now.”
I’ve heard this story a few times, so when Clarice says dramatically, “I was his secret lovaaah,” I know she’s mimicking Karen from the sitcom Will & Grace, since my sister showed me the clip after the first time she referenced it.
“So, yeah. I’m a freezer. And when…” I clam up suddenly, realizing I was about to reveal something embarrassing about myself when it comes to my sex life.
“When what?” Crystal urges. “Come on, girl. You’re safe here, with us. Not a single one of us is going to think bad of you or make fun of you for anything you confide in us.” When she sees I’m still unsure of speaking any more about it, she adds, “And if any of them do, I’ll tell their Doms.”
All of the other girls gasp at the threat—well… again, all except Clarice, who snorts at the submissives and their reaction. But when Crystal looks her way with a stern expression, even Clarice has the decency—or maybe just the intelligence, since anyone could sense the Domme means business—to look put in her place.
She holds up her hands defensively, and says, “I ain’t saying shit. My man will jump at any opportunity to top. And he’s six-foot eight and packs quite the impact.”
Crystal goes to turn back my way and say something, but her jaw drops as she gives Clarice a double-take. “Six-foot eight? Goddamn, girl. You can’t be more than, what, five-two?”
Clarice gives her a lascivious look, when she replies, “Yup, and before you even have to ask your next question, the answer is also yes.” She smirks, wiggling her eyebrows.
“Hooo, Lawd!” Crystal hollers, fanning herself before giving Clarice another high-five, and everyone giggles, knowing the two are referring to Brian’s… other size. Even I do, but nervously, and Crystal notices this detail. “What’s the matter, sweet girl?”
When I clam up even more and can’t immediately find the words, my sister speaks for me.
“This is part of her freezing issue, or maybe in addition to it. While the rest of us have no problem talking openly about sex and what goes on in our different playrooms, Twy has always been super shy when it comes to those subjects. She told me a few days ago that she’s truly bothered by the fact that no matter how long she’s worked at the sex shop and spends time with not only her adorably pervy husband but all of us naughty bitches, she never gets used to it.” She reaches over and squeezes my knee again, and I’m grateful she told Crystal this in an understanding tone instead of a patronizing one. “I told her it’s part of her charm.” She shrugs.
Crystal nodded the whole time Astrid was speaking, her eyes shifting between my sister and me, I assume to gauge my reactions to what she was saying. She must’ve deciphered that I found everything Astrid said accurate. “I can see how that could bother you, Twyla. You see all these girls gossiping and chitchatting about things you might believe should stay private, between you and your Dom, and?—”
I shake my head. “No, it’s not that. I learn so much just by being around everyone and listening to their stories and casual conversations. I love that they’re so open about things. Grateful, even. And I’m jealous that I can’t seem to be that way too. It’s an unconscious reaction—my embarrassment and clamming up. And you’d think, like… exposure therapy or whatever. I’m around sex stuff all day, every day. But this—” I gesture to my face that is no doubt red. “—never lessens.”
She ponders for a moment, her eyes narrowing on me—but I don’t think she’s actually looking at me—until she seems to come to a conclusion. “Well, until you can figure out a way to stop the reaction, we’ll just have to teach you how to keep going and not freeze in spite of it.”
At my tilted head, she elaborates, “Like, even if you do get that embarrassed feeling, you could find a way to ignore it instead of focusing on it enough that it makes you get all squeamish. So when you feel yourself blush, let that trigger you to make the conscious effort to join the conversation right then, not try to blend into the background. When you get the tight feeling in your throat, clear it out with a loud laugh instead of a quiet, nervous chuckle. I bet that would at least startle you enough to give the embarrassed feeling less power.”
