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She was filled with anticipation.
With hope.
With arousal.
It had been so long since Cherish had felt it so purely. She wanted to look over her shoulder, see Haylee’s reaction to her being purposely messy. She’d noticed that was a turn-on or at least a point of curiosity for Haylee, something she’d paid attention to. Cherish was neat and clean because it helped her focus, not because she was obsessed with everything being in its orderly place.
At least that’s what she told herself.
Most days.
Cherish smiled to herself as she reached the hemline of her blouse and pulled it slowly over her head. She dropped it behind her. Haylee would follow. Of that she was sure. After the taste of what could happen between them so far, Cherish had no doubt that Haylee wanted more. But the question remained, did she?
The question wasn’t so much whether she wanted it or not, but whether her body would cooperate with the desires of her heart and mind. For years Cherish had avoided sex when she wasn’t in a long-term relationship, when she wasn’t with someone who would understand. The feeling of inadequacy rendered her vulnerable in a way she hated.
Because it was shame.
She couldn’t have sex without shame rearing its ugly head, believing that she wasn’t good enough. Haylee’s arms wrapped around her shoulders, and she was tugged sharply into Haylee’s chest, stopping instantly.
“Stop thinking already.”
Cherish scoffed. “You don’t know me at all.”
“I know you never stop thinking, but at least shut up whatever you’re thinking about now.” Haylee pressed her lips gingerly against Cherish’s neck, right where it met her shoulder.
Cherish closed her eyes on a sigh. Please just let this happen tonight. She could beg her body all she wanted, but it rarely agreed with her brain. Reaching behind Haylee’s neck, Cherish turned her head to lock their lips together. She closed her eyes and focused on every sensation she could find in her body. It was slow at first, tingly, and she had to really focus her mind to feel it.
But it was there.
And that much made her happy.
Haylee moved her hands to the back of Cherish’s skirt, sliding the zipper down with a steady movement. The speed from before, the race to the finish, seemed to be gone. Was Haylee going to take her slow or hard? Cherish preferred it fast and hard. It was easier to fake that way.
“Where are we going?” Haylee asked.
“This way,” Cherish whispered, barely looking into Haylee’s dark brown eyes before she looked straight ahead.
Cherish opened the door to the bedroom, finding everything in place. She always made sure the apartment was clean before she left in the mornings. It cleared her mind for the day so she wasn’t caught up here when she should be at work. Haylee’s hands were at her hips again, pushing the soft material of her skirt down her body. Haylee plucked the hooks on her bra, and within minutes, Cherish was on the bed naked.
Haylee grinned, looking her over. Cherish probably had that exact same look on her face when she’d first seen Haylee standing naked in front of her. Fuck, she couldn’t believe they were doing this. But Haylee had been standing so close to her. Every glance, every touch since that weekend had been intensified, and Cherish hadn’t been able to resist. She wanted to give Haylee exactly what she was looking for. A good hard orgasm.
But now?
Her fear ratcheted up a notch. She was never good at receiving. Power bottom Cherish was not. She would top anyone she could and never let them touch her. Cherish found herself gnawing on her lip again, an old habit she had long thought was dead. Haylee flicked her thumb across Cherish’s lip until she released it.
“That’s my job.” Haylee’s voice was low. “And I want to taste you just like you did me.”
Cherish drew in a shuddering breath as Haylee climbed onto the bed. This was a confident Haylee—the woman that Cherish knew was underneath all of that second-guessing. Apparently, she just had to get naked to be her true self. Whereas Cherish felt anything but. This was where she hid the most.
“You had your turn, now it’s mine.” Haylee straddled Cherish, the warmth of her brushing along Cherish’s belly. Low and so close to where Cherish felt the tingling need.
“Right,” Cherish whispered, hoping that Haylee hadn’t heard her.
She could distract Haylee long enough that she could take over again. Nipping Haylee’s lower lip, Cherish skimmed her fingers along Haylee’s waist and then her hip. Her body was fascinating, the way Haylee moved, the softness of her skin, the heat that emanated from her. Cherish could revel in it for days at least.
The feel of being pressed into the mattress, of being covered and touched and loved by this woman was so new. This was someone who had managed to push Cherish to new heights and places. Had pushed Cherish to be herself.
“Haylee,” Cherish cried out, her heart racing. She put her hands on Haylee’s cheeks to pull her back and break their kiss. It was clear from Haylee’s look that she misinterpreted the interruption. “I don’t know if I can do this.”
