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Tori closed her eyes to block it all out, but she couldn’t. Miranda was in that room with her whether she wanted her to be or not. Tori gasped and clenched her eyes tight. She pulled away, both hands cupping Haylee’s face, and rested her forehead against Haylee’s.
“It’s okay, you know.” Haylee didn’t whisper, but her voice was softer than it had been earlier in the night.
“It’s really not.” Tori didn’t like anything about herself at that moment. She had once loved her life, loved who she had become and had known that while growth never ended, she was so happy with the path she was on.
“It is.” Haylee’s fingers were gentle as they moved Tori’s hands from her face and stepped back.
“Please don’t leave.”
“Oh, I wasn’t going to.” Haylee laughed. “I don’t think you need to be alone right now.”
Tori blinked and stared at Haylee. This amazing woman was someone she could have easily fallen in love with just a few months ago, before everything she thought she knew about herself had been turned upside down and twisted until she found herself unrecognizable.
“I think we should make that dessert and talk.”
“Really?” Tori’s vision blurred as tears filled her eyes. The lump in her throat wasn’t doing her any favors either.
“Yeah, come on. Teach me about these fandangled crunchy baskets you were just about salivating over so much that we had to immediately go out and buy the stuff to make them.”
“Thank you.” Tori wiped the devious tears that had slipped out from off of her cheeks and smiled.
“No need. I’ve had an awesome night. Sex isn’t an expectation.”
“I know. I’m so sorry.” The guilt still swam in Tori’s belly, and she wanted it gone faster than it had appeared. But she was pretty sure it wasn’t going away any time soon. She was pretty sure she knew why it was there too. She just didn’t want to think about it.
“Don’t be. If she was the woman I was pining for and stuck on, I’d be far less head-screwed-on-the-right-way than you are.”
Tori blinked, mouth dropping open a little.
Haylee laughed. “If you somehow thought either of you were being subtle, you are both just as delusional as each other. Now, come on, let’s get baking.”
By the time the baskets were in the oven, Tori had blurted out her tragic dalliances with Miranda and why running into her had gotten into her head so badly. And Rebel. Fuck, Tori melted every time she thought of that sweet girl.
Tori leaned on the kitchen side of her island while Haylee sat at one of the bar stools. Haylee swiveled the bowl of blueberries around in a circle as she thought, and Tori hated herself even more. Haylee was so interesting, and Tori would have loved to have gotten to know her before Rebel ran into her in the grocery store that very first time.
“So what are you going to do?” Haylee asked, looking up as she snuck a blueberry from the bowl and popped it into her mouth.
“Those are for the bowls.” Tori playfully scolded and swatted at Haylee’s hand, not quite touching her. She wasn’t sure either of them could take that situation again.
“There are plenty left. Now answer the question.” Haylee raised an eyebrow, her dark eyes locking on Tori’s in a no-nonsense look.
“I don’t want to give up on finding my soulmate.”
“I don’t believe in soulmates.” Haylee popped another blueberry into her mouth and laughed as she pulled away from Tori poorly aiming a swipe with the tea towel at her.
“Wait.” The tea towel fell limp in Tori’s hand as Haylee’s words registered. “You don’t?”
“Nope.” Haylee shook her head. “The simple naming of it puts way too much pressure on everyone involved.”
“But that doesn’t mean you can’t believe in them.”
“True,” Haylee conceded. “But the fact I don’t think there is only one person meant for you your entire life does mean that I don’t really believe in them.”
“Oh.” Tori’s stomach knotted as it seemed to do often when her goal came up in discussion.
“But if you want to call those people in your life that, then go ahead. You need those people who become your person for a time, everyone does. What’s the harm in calling them a seasonal soulmate?” Haylee shrugged. “And if you do that… then yeah, I can live with that one.”
“Multiple soulmates?” Tori lifted her eyebrows and tilted her head slightly. “Is that what you’re talking about?”
