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“That’s okay. Part of me figured you would have just told me, but then I thought other horrible things.” Siena slowly rolled her eyes upward while a small frown creased the corners of her mouth.
Tori burst out laughing, and oh how the sound made her feel alive again. And it wasn’t just the sound. The rumble within her chest as it built its way up to her throat was divine. She had missed this. Not just Siena, but the ease of what a relationship should feel like. Any relationship, not just the soulmate type.
Her thoughts brought back to mind the reason for the catch-up and took some of that joy along with it. Which made absolutely no sense. She had made the decision, and she knew it was the right one.
Miranda wasn’t her soulmate.
She accepted that, as much as it hurt to do so. The worst part was that her birthday continued to tick down like a bomb primed and ready to explode. If she really wanted to meet someone by then, even if they didn’t get married and ride off into the sunset by then, she had to get herself back out there.
“My birthday is coming up.” Tori bit the bullet. She locked her eyes on Siena, hoping she would understand what wasn’t being said.
“Yeah, just a couple months away now.” Siena smiled patronizingly, like she would ever forget when Tori’s birthday was. “Have you decided if I’m allowed to plan a party for you or not?”
“Not yet. I don’t know, do whatever you want.” Tori’s heart sank. That hadn’t been what she wanted to talk about, and Siena had missed the cue. Which meant she was going to have to speak far more bluntly.
“Okay.” Siena opened her mouth as though she wanted to say something else but closed it, still unsure until her lips were pressed tightly together, all color drained away.
“And you know I am searching for my soulmate before then.” That was as nicely as Tori could manage to say it.
“Yes.” Siena drew out the word. “But I thought…”
“Miranda isn’t my soulmate,” Tori said in a rush, avoiding Siena’s gaze. It still hurt to say that, because somewhere, deep inside her, she had hoped that Miranda was. She’d thought that just maybe she had stopped her search because she’d found the right one.
“Oh, all right. I think I understand now.”
Tori looked up, and Siena’s eyes pinned her to the spot. She might have also stopped the world from spinning as it seemed to tremble beneath Siena’s unforgiving glare. What was that all about? Tori shuddered, trying to parse through what she had said that would set Siena off like that.
“Do you?” Tori wanted so badly not to say the words.
“You need some dates to go on while you search for your elusive soulmate.” Siena smiled, not entirely back to its usual shine but definitely closer.
“Am I crazy?” Tori pushed her untouched coffee away from the space in front of her and leaned forward, arms folded on the tabletop, resting her head heavily on her arms.
“Why would you think that?” Siena reached out and ran her fingers through Tori’s hair.
Tori loved it when she did that. It was so soothing and comforting. She groaned and closed her eyes, trying to find the right words that would pierce through the chaos she was feeling.
“To be so determined to find my soulmate by the time I’m thirty…it just seems so…unrealistic, doesn’t it?”
Siena didn’t respond immediately. Instead, Tori heard the faint chink of Siena’s coffee cup being lifted up from its saucer.
Tori lifted her head slightly from her arms, peeking over but still managing to avoid looking her ex in the eyes. She watched as Siena sipped slowly from her drink. Tori focused on the lipstick-stained white ceramic rim as Siena set it back down on the saucer with just the tiniest hint of a clatter.
“No, I don’t think you are crazy. Most people, even those who believe in love, don’t believe in soulmates, but you always have. You’ve always interchanged the two, and it’s one of the things I’ve found so beautiful about you. You are never without hope.”
“I’m not beautiful,” Tori said, knowing she sounded more like Harley than her mother. But what Siena said warmed her thoroughly. This was why she’d called her for a coffee date. She needed the positive support that only Siena could give her.
“Now you’re actually scaring me a little bit.” Siena nervously chuckled.
“Why?” Tori lifted her head farther away from her arms, and her eyes met Siena’s.
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you question yourself like this. So please.” Siena reached over, rising slightly from her chair, and tucked a stray strand of hair behind Tori’s ear and smiled. “Tell me what happened with Miranda?”
Tori huffed. In for a penny… “I did what I tell all of my clients never to do.”
“And what’s that?”
“I thought she didn’t mean what she said. But she did. And I stupidly thought her opening up meant more. Because I wanted it to mean more, not because she did. And I placed so much hope for my future on her, and I shouldn’t have.”
