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“True, but even two-year-olds are very astute about their surroundings. They’re aware of what’s going on even if they don’t understand it.”
Miranda pondered that. She relaxed onto the couch, bringing her feet up and resting into the arm. She was so tired. Exhausted from running around and trying to keep up with everything, with early interventions for Rebel’s speech, for doctor appointments when she was sick, and with work. That had been the sole focus of her life for the last four months, and she couldn’t see it being any different in the near future, especially if she was going to fight Tierney.
“I think I’m going to try to get custody.” Her voice was so quiet when she said the words. It was only the second time she’d said them out loud, but to say them to Tori meant they had to be real, right? There was no backing away from it now.
“That’s going to be brutal.”
“I know.” Miranda closed her eyes, soaking in Tori’s voice and all that she could of the conversation. “But Rebel deserves to be someone’s priority, and since I’m the only one here, I’ll make her mine.”
“Sounds like you know what you’re doing, then.”
“Maybe.” Miranda’s body ached for sleep. “I’m so tired.”
“Go to sleep.” Tori’s lightness was still there. Miranda envied it.
“I think I will.”
“See you around, Miranda.”
“See you around, Tori.”
Why did hanging up seem so final? Miranda curled onto her side, pressing her forehead into the couch and imagined the firmness was Tori’s body against hers. Tori would wrap her up and hold her, keep her right where she needed to be if only until she could be on her own again. Miranda cringed. What was wrong with her?
twenty-four
“What the fuck?” Tori smiled, bewildered by Miranda’s sudden call. So much distance, and yet a touch of warmth. Well, Miranda’s version of warmth. Tori stared at the phone in her hand, trying to push away the lump that almost closed her throat at their goodbyes.
“Mommy, that’s a no-no word.”
Tori spun around to find Harley sitting among a castle of multicolored Duplo blocks they had been building before Miranda’s unexpected phone call.
“You’re right.” Tori shook her head and smiled at her pouting daughter. “I’m sorry, Harley, I shouldn’t have said that.”
“I miss Rebel.” Harley sighed, shoulders heaving up and down in the true devastation that only a four-year-old seemed to be able to achieve.
“But you get to see her every day at daycare, right?” Tori sat down with Harley and continued to build the walls of her princess’s castle.
“Yeah.” Harley joined in, added a red block, and then a green one. “But we only see each other a little bit. I wish we were the same age. Kids my age are silly.”
“I know, honey.” Tori couldn’t bite back the amused smile that spread across her face. “Can I tell you a secret?”
Harley’s eyes grew wide, and she nodded excitedly.
“I don’t like many people my age either.”
“What about Mom?” Harley’s eyebrows pulled in together, and Tori saw the distress that threatened on the horizon.
“Oh, I like Mom. But she’s not my age.”
“What?” Harley’s hand, her short fingers gripping a blue block, dropped down from the wall she had been about to add it to.
“That’s right.” Tori laughed, leaving a gap in her wall for a window. “Mom is a few years older than me.”
“Like I’m older than Rebel.”
“Yeah.” Tori didn’t think going into just how many years there were between Siena and her would be productive just yet. Though it definitely brought home the fact that she had a type. She hadn’t been lying when she’d told Miranda tall, dark, and handsome. Then again, she probably should have also added older by a good sum to that mix as well.
Harley nodded and returned to building.
