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“Thanks?” Aili asked, eyebrows furrowing.
“Yes. Thank you.” Tori smiled and felt the weight lifting from her shoulders.
Why was she moping? She knew what she wanted, and if Miranda couldn’t give it to her, she needed to know and then she needed to move on. She’d been a chickenshit, as Aili had so fondly called her on more than one occasion. She’d avoided as well as Miranda did, instead of just confronting and getting an answer. Enough was enough.
Once Harley was clicked into her car seat, Tori closed the car door and pulled her phone from her pocket.
Her fingers trembled as fear and pain washed over her. She didn’t want to know that she wasn’t enough for Miranda, but she respected herself too much to drag any of this out any longer. Her goal remained the same, and though she suspected confirmation of the fact would shatter parts of her that might not heal for a long time, or forever, she would be able to move on more easily and find someone who wanted the same in life.
She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and sent the message flying out into the ether. Slipping it back into her pocket to stop herself from seeing if Miranda had read the message or not, she got into the driver’s seat and twisted to look over her shoulder at her daughter.
“Ready for a Mommy-and-Harley special night out?”
“Yeah!” Harley threw up her arms and legs, and Tori laughed.
She would get back on track, and she would reach her goal. Even if Miranda wasn’t part of her future, she had been right about one thing—Harley needed to be her focus no matter what.
twenty-three
“Got a minute?”
Aili startled Miranda as she bent over Rebel’s cubby to pull her stuff together. She straightened her spine immediately and nodded with a silent, firm look.
“Rebel can come too. I’ve got stuff she can play with while we talk.” Aili held her hand down for Rebel, who took it and walked side by side with her.
That was a skill Rebel had only just now started learning. Miranda appreciated it, honestly, because carrying around a wily toddler was getting to be a bit much. She stiffened her shoulders as she followed, carrying the diaper bag in her hand as she went. They walked down the hall and stopped in Aili’s office, Aili shutting the door as soon as they were all inside.
“Rebel, there’s toys and crayons if you want to color something.” Aili pointed to a small corner of her room.
Rebel toddled over and started to play.
“Have a seat.” Aili pointed to a couch against the far wall as she sat in the rolling chair by her computer. “I wanted to talk about some of Rebel’s improvements.”
“Oh?” Miranda’s teeth unclenched a little.
“Tierney started Rebel with us maybe a month before…” Aili trailed off, glancing over at Rebel.
“Before she went on her trip,” Miranda supplied. That was how she explained it to Rebel, not that Rebel asked where her mother was or why she’d been abandoned. She was two. She didn’t have words for that yet, but it was going to be a conversation that came up later, especially if—Miranda wasn’t sure she could think about that.
“Right.” Aili gave a pitying smile. “Anyway, Rebel was…wild is honestly the only word I can think of.”
Miranda swallowed the lump that formed instantly. As much as she wanted to throw Tierney and her lack of parenting under the bus, she couldn’t. Tierney was still her sister, and she wasn’t going to dish gossip on someone she was supposed to protect. Someone it was her responsibility to protect. That familiar lump formed in her stomach. She continued to do a shit job of that, but she would break that cycle with Rebel. She had to.
“Anyway, in the last four months since she’s been in your custody, she’s like a whole new child.” Aili raised her eyebrows. “Perfect example.”
Rebel calmly played with the toys and colored, going back and forth between the two. Miranda cast her gaze into the corner, fondly looking at Rebel and recognizing fully all the changes she had made and how much she had learned in the last few months. Okay, so maybe she wasn’t doing too badly. The lump found its way to her chest.
“I’m honestly amazed by how rapid her improvement has been. It’s a huge part of why I was willing to hold her spot for you while you sorted out her doctor appointments.”
Miranda still hadn’t spoken, absorbing everything Aili said. It really confirmed what she’d already been thinking, and perhaps she really was in the right to do more than think it. With Tierney still gone and onto boyfriend number four—three didn’t last more than a week—and no sign of coming home, she might just have to file for temporary guardianship and start the process of being Rebel’s legal home.
“I think she’s ready to start potty training, too. We can help here. Just let us know whatever method you want to use and we’ll continue it.”
Method? Miranda hadn’t even looked into that, but it would make life a whole lot easier, wouldn’t it?
“I’m really impressed with everything Rebel is doing. I wanted you to know that. She’s such a joy, and Birch loves having her in class. She and Harley like to play together when we go outside.”
Miranda’s stomach tightened. She had loved watching the girls play together, best friends despite their age differences. But they hadn’t spent any time with Harley or Tori since the whole surprise date debacle. She hadn’t managed to bring herself to talk to Tori about it.
